A letter from Apr 04, 2023

Dear Future!Me, Happy 25th birthday. I hope I’ve graduated, and I hope it went well (among other things). It’s 2023 and I’m currently sort of lost. I have $4 in my checking account and my credit card is somewhat overdrawn—I also still don’t have a job, but I’m trying. Oh, and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to afford tuition, food, AND the rent for my room (still not a nano suite, alas). My birthday is in three weeks, which I’m dreading. Almost 22 and I still haven’t gotten anywhere with my career ambitions. I finished Black Diamond three years ago. It still hasn’t been revised yet, but I hope by the time I read this it will have been perfected. A week ago I received the contract for one of my short stories, which is amazing. And I may remember this, but as I write I’m currently behind on THREE assignments: a short story, a YA novel intro, and my game design. It’s not going well. Anyway. I am 21, single, and the loneliest I’ve ever been in my life. I rarely go out. My back hurts. I can’t climb a single flight of stairs to save my life. I hope that when I’m reading this I have at least 1 more friend; 2 would be good but 1 is fine. I also hope I’ve gotten more fit, maybe even learned a pole trick or two… who knows. I would like to be in a relationship when I read this but I’m not THAT delusional. Yet. Life is fine. It could be better. Honestly, I’m just getting by, not quite sure if university is what I want. What I REALLY want is to be a published author but I know I’m probably not by the time I read this. What I REALLY want is a cute, small apartment to fill with cute, small things, and a cute, small cat to stave off the loneliness of missing human companionship. This is what they call a pipe dream. Sometimes I wish I could drop out and move to New Zealand or Scotland or Korea for a year to find myself or whatever. I hope I’ve at least visited one of these places. Here is my usual daily routine: 1. Wake up around 12pm 2. Stay in bed reading AO3 and watching videos 3. Maybe eat something, probably still in bed 4. Optionally I might get up and browse the same 3 websites, maybe work in some assignments 5. Waste away while reading AO3 and listening to video essays until I fall asleep I desperately hope this routine has changed. It sucks. My webmastery journey is going well, though. Recently discovered what bootstrap is and I’m excited to rip my favourite Toyhou.se themes and them into regular CSS because anarchy™️. I’m glad I got into website making because I had no idea it could be so fun and relatively easy. I hope I have acquired a few more skills in this same manner when I read this. Talking about my life now sucks, so here are some things I hope will be true by the time I read this email. i) I hope I kept up my athletic journey ii) I hope I made my apartment look like ‘me’ and I hope it’s still clean iii) I hope I went to a cat cafe iv) I hope I finished Black As Diamond, maybe even got an agent call v) I hope I travelled internationally at least once vi) I hope I have my own website domain There are many more things I hope for, but 3 years isn’t a long time so let’s keep it casual. As I write this, it’s almost 1am. I’m rewatching a MistaGG video and reading Trigun fanfiction on the side. I finished eating Nando’s after accidentally falling asleep with a heating pad on, and it hasn’t rained in a while. I hope that when I read this I’m eating cake or something good. Who knows. Things kind of suck right now; not perfect, but nowhere near as bad as it could be. Once again, happy birthday. Buy something nice, perhaps go see a movie. See you in another 3 years. All the best, Past!Me