A letter from Apr 03, 2023

dear future me i hope ur still alive even if ur not then good i remember u said i wanna die young not worth living now uuh ion know sumtimes i think bout like when will this **** end i still remember the nights i was crying and sobering i was beggin to god for take me from this world while im sobbin maybe sounds funny but i was messed up and im still ion know how to explain my thoughts rounding in my head it sometimes hits hard but i have no idea bout anything im lost my friends thinks i have no problem no any negative **** like im the most careless person in the world even sometimes while w ma friends when im laughing i was feeling like im just pretendin it sucks when i laugh even when im about to cry like im not the person u think actually like im different inside im makin jokes makin them laugh then i came home like u can't see how im drownin fake friends fake ppls around like they're jus actin thinking bout future what will happen who knows maybe i.. uhh i just don't know im jus 18 i push people away but i wanna help somebody help