A letter from Apr 02, 2023

Dear FutureMe, Hope you will be much stronger, happier and healthier (these two words were recommended by my keyboard autocorrect😁). It is 2023, April the second, I even stopped for a second to rethink if we really live in 2023, which tells you how lost I am at the moment. I don’t want you to read a letter starting with moaning and grumbling or full of complains of how I am living my life right now but let me just tell you how down I feel right now (it is also my first day of period) and how lost I have been feeling lately. When I was a little girl I set high standards to myself and growing up I have always been expecting myself to be the one who does the impossible, I have always tried to be the impressive one (like boys, those who do everything by themselves for themselves) but when I look at myself now… it’s nothing like that not even close. I am telling you all these like you don’t remember them (hope you don’t). I promise I will not I will not promise in fact I don’t even trust myself anymore. indeed, I hate myself for that, I know I will break everything I never seen myself finishing something I started earlier, I have never seen myself be committed to something I loved in the beginning. I hope you do great right now, hope you don’t feel as wasted as I do, I can’t say I love you I can’t even say I love myself but I hope you love me and understand me, please don’t blame yourself if anything in the past bothers you, you are a different person right now, it is difficult for me but as a last word I want to tell I will do my best not the best but my best to make your right now and my future better so you could smile and laugh deeply and you don’t feel empty inside you. Bye