A letter from Mar 30, 2023

hi me, it’s me from the past lol. anyways… jsjsjsjsjsj how do i start this it’s the 30th of march, the 8th day of ramadan. i’ve kinda been struggling tbh, idky but i started cutting again. i think cause i wanted Him to see them wen we have ***. i know it was desperate. not like he’s gonna see them anyways. he broke up with me. yesterday. i’m not insanely upset or sad, i’m kinda ok. i think i saw it coming. but coming out of the relationship was a blessing from Allah cause i was committing zina and stuff and uno major sin and whatnot. plus it’s ramadan. so it’s good. writing about this is making me sad tbh so i’m gonna stop. oh yea i wanted to say though, it made me realise that i really wanna get married. i know it’s basically impossible but i wanna get married literally by the end of this year idk.. i wanna be in love and be loved and i want it. to be halal i wanna have *** and not be sinning (icb i’m not a virgin and how much i love *** 3) anyways yea i just i wanna be in a relationship but i want it to be halal so inshAllah by the end of 2023 i’ll be married (small wedding btw don’t want everyone to know) so im gonna focus on making dua for this. praying all my 5 daily prayers ugh need to start praying ON TIME AS WELL and becoming closer to Allah. allow Allah to put me in the position to complete half my deen and yea be happy and in love by the time u get this letter u shld have almost finished ur degree inshaAllah and be on ur way to getting a high paying IT/business corporate job. AND BE MARRIED… please be married ya rabb please let me be married. omg and on my deen too. but yea jssjjsjs what else do i write, hmmm… i want him to be taller than me, nice beard, HOT(ik looks don’t matter but sometimes they do). i lowk want him to be aunty jennifer’s son he’s so leng and tall oml and he’s moving to dubai inshaAllah and ughhh yea. i gotta go now, need to pray duhr and cream my face cause i just got out of the shower (i say this but it’s been like 30 mins of me just sitting here on my phone). bye me :) please be successful in ur deen, in ur education/career and in ur relationships AKA BE MARRIED please and thank you. ps just had the thought that i could be dead when this gets delivered, inshaAllah that’s not the case ooof. pps i had to edit this bcz i forgot how cld i forget lol anyways U BETTER BE SKINNY ***** LIKE AT LEAST 57kg OKAY PLEASE, also happy birthday, ur 21?? that’s crazy tbh