A letter from Mar 30, 2023

Dear FutureMe, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! How are you? I hope you have somebody to lean on but if you don’t then just Remember that you are a strong independent woman, you always have been. My gosh! you are thirthy! How is it? How's life? I wanna know it. Be very grateful that you have a job. I really wish and pray that you do have one by now. You know how hard it is for you to get there. I just want you to know that right here, 3 years in the past, I was struggling, with my birth certificate and being unemployed for a year. No one hires me because of that stupid document. Why is everything so difficult in our country?Sorry, I'm ranting again. I am just hoping you could atleast say that we are doing well now so I could tell myself this is gonna be worth it. I am sad, depressed, but I held on for you. Dearest me, if you are struggling right now, know that you've overcome a lot. You can do anything. Don't be too hard on yourself. So what if you're not a master in all the things you do? that's just because you are good at many things. You're a jack-of-all-trades and there is nothing wrong with that. Love yourself. If you've suffered from something, anything, just know **** happens, that's life. you'll move on, it's not easy i know. Don't talk back at me! I know you're saying, "easier said than done" right now. Haha! I'm just telling you cause I have suffered too. Maybe you'll forget about this phase in life but I hope you look back sometimes atleast to see how far you've come. I really wanna talk to you, drinking tea, eating biscuits while looking at a butterfly at the garden. I want to know a lot of things. I want to see how far we've come. I want to know if you still paint, write poems, draw, and read Nicci French. Are they still our favorite author? I hope so. I hope we've finish reading Frieda Klein series by now. I am still looking for the sunday book. Anyway, I hope you have a collection of books you love, and is sitting in a comfortable couch drinking coffee in a wonderful place. If you do please be happy, please enjoy it. It's like I get to live my dream if you do. I know I am you but it just feel so different. It's like we die everyday and be reborn a new person. So I have know idea how you will take this letter. Would you cringe over it. Will you cry, or will you be happy? I wish you felt better after reading this. Hold on, okay. I wish you could tell me that too. I feel so old, I feel useless, but I am holding on too. I know you'd hug me if ever so I'll just imagine your warm embrace. I don't wanna cry over it so hold it in too. JK. This is it. I love you. I love our family. Be brave, Take risk, Be yourself.