A letter from Mar 29, 2023

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, hi! this is 21 year old you. firstly i hope you’re doing well. right now it is 12:14am and i just watched a tiktok about writing a future letter. today i finally turned in my resignation letter! of course the boss called and spewed a bunch of bs to make me stay but im feeling mostly relieved that im almost out of there and onto a new chapter in life. you know ur girl is in her broke ***** era but im gonna make it work. this is the first time since i was a teenager that im not going to have a full time job and im sure you will remember how useless and lowkey stressed im feeling right now. what job did you end up getting? did you get to take swimming classes? how was starting acupuncture school? how is esther doing? im like 99.99% sure ur little sister is still the center of your life because you love her so much. i hope ur in ur hot girl era right now. im making a guess that our hair is finally long again and that makes me happy. you better not have gotten an undercut again for the third time, because you know growing that out will be a DISASTER. hey. u better go on vacation this year. or if you’re really too busy it better be soon. stop treating yourself like ****. remember u said xcaret. if not at least some tropical place please. how are mom and dad? im hoping ur at least smart enough to read pulse and help mom do some cupping now, or else im sure you’ll feel like a useless piece of ****. as much as i hate to admit it i think by today you probably have almost completely forgiven mom and dad. and i think that’s good. I don’t blame them for any trauma, i just hope we’re strong enough to take care of them now. did u get a girlfriend at all? although im currently opposing the idea of a relationship i know that you still wish for someone to connect and care for you. i hope that there’s someone to tolerate your situation and love you for who you are. im pretty sure you’re still unable to come out, but it’s okay. I’m sure we’re getting there soon. don’t get brainwashed back to homophobia christianity gurl. I’d hate you for it if u do. buy a bottle of soju and cheers yourself today! us making it through is worth celebrating. i love you so much and i look forward to the you im becoming. 🤍

Epilogue

about 21 hours later

hey 21 year old me,

funny thing is i completely forgot this letter existed. i know there's another one i wrote a while ago though, that one seems to stick...

Imnd on ym. Yb i mreebmre egst it rlveeidde yeamb mite wtn'o het. .
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Het for i akcb dna 2 t,a nohrtae stdaey hetre gnogi ddene ekwdor ot pu teolh we seray. Elfi etim fei,foc t,bw a fo an sowrt i ym tqui dtietsn is enht dan noe hatt tsobauel to pso at this nsttid'es nrgokiw medvo. Do het idctrneio i but msoe dna - me eyrall tme nryitstde uegeinn ghirt it not at ni ditpeon lesat ot peolep. .
.
Ebne is 'iev porud moer nda oidng nrvee gater rshtee. Ot of nvosrie in essem eebrtt ehs yeevr wya su be teh. Ehs cus dan oslt ,won is tegra rsnfdei dame fo a ta. Olve ietm atrp her rniefds a loas rokcosewr rwhee ehr, sha she lal ehret jbo ltitle and adem. 'eshs to me yrc dan uyo wthi em yhpap htat ef,li tawn sltle mkase tnnoetc eryv aginmei chwih can hse. .
.
Leltti aswit nolg callytua taps 'tis ym riha si lyfilna ym nglo yerv a ,nagia. Dab grignwo ntduruec erberemm ttah asw ti i woh out. Enevr aagni. Anai,g edn t'ond lrelya epinmtgt 'evi rcyetlne tath ot ydgin up be em higtl hair eahr ksctu dan ydu'o giodn hpoe tno tub si bule ti ot i kid gadl my. Eebrof hvea iipex cut zuzb slapn ?tihrg i dan 30, og mi to yloo.
.
Slat anrcucuuept seremtess 2 tspa hoscol t'dndi. My sslcamsate boj own rof thiw postupr ernspta ahtt aelardy rkow ccsilni nyigpa k05 cpomadre dan tiwh lal on'wt i sclabialy ot ym uthitow zeairlde ayn no stcieyur no. Rof a ceht my serrqpe dna nda ogt cbak oedn aosmprrg ntew cc ot i nldate iegyneh adr. Gnotte dan for tsatr be arhe ni eunj atth d'uyo dcteepca i dha just a pmgroar to glad. In gitr?h oging it essme si kiel flinlya teh dietniocr hrigt feil. .
.
I i eray temh elnaedr cless!as aylfiln okot stal simw ohw ddi miwnimsg ot dan taek. The i eorm ni bcak anerl dan go tureuf nawna. Sith ainch utb go ot cancre pndeanl rfo tjsu ianedogsd tcerax ot gto adh ey,ar orf vcaay o,nw i tihw no akbc caierntcap add. Fro 'im noe llsit ttah the tisoomne opsncegisr. Sthi on so ntacavoi yrea. .
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Plcyelotem on yuo htink i 'dtno a,sy htat i've yfnun rnvogfei. Juts i mauatr the can earde,s eb emit inhtk dn'to stepdei. Elrna 3 smoe hitniw het stap duo'y satcinnse ot yeras diofrheri eb. My oyu nya ym how is tcu ntesrap utb letl fo to trhig lepeop uldco and it fof, duwol i in nlonie pmylcelteo wnko me tpos 'its ti. Take ot etruuf dads' i yerv cera fo cski a mom reehw nai,ga lbpoesis onw eavh tath reeht's. . . Dna tis' aicrgsn me. Eenb won taht oehlw rsnepo si em ti yhw ifel my is to eeascp ot uodnb ynirgt the 'eiv. . . . .
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Eb ahye udrsiresp yo'du. . . Egt ddi a i derliginrf fo dink. Aws rfo sbet repks ty,e ubt and egl,it 'ditdn etm ouyr hvna'te oyu htwi oudy' eenv nay htat leef dfiner lgri it resya be veen irssdepru a nad tow t'dind oinddcseer ahtt gte. Atsp t,nhi hre ad,sthe tropdpuse aiyflm kctih akerpbu and reh dan 2 ohugthr yuo even. Ospr lsneeifg misgtheno frpisendih for eaucnntri her newh of oesecdnsf weinhigg ocsn irksgin hte dgeugsrlt to tshonm os adn your ,uyo rfo seh uoy. But os go eb ti yuo o,vel uoy eeddcid thiw erwe adn ot vbera in. Fmor tiaw eth nigofre ared daem otens eomm ppa idea dan rgwon wiht rfamaliiun t,wb 1 whos oyu tp,so no seh up hre yuo ytci ouy yuo baker dan yda in juts pu reh a 21/ ekbapur ftrae cntrouy imgkna nda mpuedd ot. I serthe detah falg edr a her i nwok konw b,tw t'atsh. Oot oatbu etim eth at uyo ot ehr utb edcar uhmc erac. Ofarrdw indf eovl ailhegn ot r,yae of nookigl apts m'i a tlo onde but 'iev rbteet isth. E'wll ehrte teg lneluveayt. .
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Ridkngin a uyb ryoa!nme i eiujc utb ddi allutcya hcape ton mi'. .

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