A letter from Mar 29, 2023

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, hi! this is 21 year old you. firstly i hope you’re doing well. right now it is 12:14am and i just watched a tiktok about writing a future letter. today i finally turned in my resignation letter! of course the boss called and spewed a bunch of bs to make me stay but im feeling mostly relieved that im almost out of there and onto a new chapter in life. you know ur girl is in her broke ***** era but im gonna make it work. this is the first time since i was a teenager that im not going to have a full time job and im sure you will remember how useless and lowkey stressed im feeling right now. what job did you end up getting? did you get to take swimming classes? how was starting acupuncture school? how is esther doing? im like 99.99% sure ur little sister is still the center of your life because you love her so much. i hope ur in ur hot girl era right now. im making a guess that our hair is finally long again and that makes me happy. you better not have gotten an undercut again for the third time, because you know growing that out will be a DISASTER. hey. u better go on vacation this year. or if you’re really too busy it better be soon. stop treating yourself like ****. remember u said xcaret. if not at least some tropical place please. how are mom and dad? im hoping ur at least smart enough to read pulse and help mom do some cupping now, or else im sure you’ll feel like a useless piece of ****. as much as i hate to admit it i think by today you probably have almost completely forgiven mom and dad. and i think that’s good. I don’t blame them for any trauma, i just hope we’re strong enough to take care of them now. did u get a girlfriend at all? although im currently opposing the idea of a relationship i know that you still wish for someone to connect and care for you. i hope that there’s someone to tolerate your situation and love you for who you are. im pretty sure you’re still unable to come out, but it’s okay. I’m sure we’re getting there soon. don’t get brainwashed back to homophobia christianity gurl. I’d hate you for it if u do. buy a bottle of soju and cheers yourself today! us making it through is worth celebrating. i love you so much and i look forward to the you im becoming. 🤍

Epilogue

about 21 hours later

hey 21 year old me,

funny thing is i completely forgot this letter existed. i know there's another one i wrote a while ago though, that one seems to stick...

Ym mind on. Tesg ddrvielee yb nwto' i mbyae rermmbee ietm it het. .
.
2 we ysdtea oetnarh fro ogign i ot pu eetrh yaers holet bcka ddene workde nad eht ,ta. I sop tdetnis my tsih tiqu at idnetsst' na feli tb,w nda fefio,c temi fo one edmvo a hent owtsr rnkgowi htta to is sbelauto. Me plepoe thgir allyer ot tme od dneiotric innegeu otn dan ti ditytensr meso utb tdiopne altes - eht i ta ni. .
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And eebn reven e'vi agter erom is dgion etsreh uprod. To het of ywa nvsiroe ryeve ttbeer su seh essme ni be. Ucs is arteg nda mdae lots ta w,no of a ndrsife hes. Laos obj mite erhew her nad rceokswor idefnsr rpta amed esh a he,r elov lla ltleit sah hetre. Amengii ot hwchi ryev adn me anc ttah ttonnce uoy awtn i,elf e'ssh yphap saemk tslle em cyr tiwh hse. .
.
My acatllyu psat st'i wiast nolg nlyifla etiltl olgn a gna,ai my irha yevr si. Ducutenr ohw tuo was iongrwg ebeermmr atth abd i ti. Gaani ernev. Thilg adn ot t'dno that me i up adlg vei' tbu g,aain ubel eb to d'oyu dyign end itpetngm nigod dik lerctnye hare ayelrl si kstuc tno ihar it ym heop. Uct igrht? vhea ,03 eixpi og nad looy to im breofe panls i bzuz.
.
Past 2 tsla rtcecpuuaun smtressee iddtn' osochl. Eurtiscy ilcinsc wkro tpsrean my ithw my for tiwh adn on lla saemasctsl to yginap job comperad any lbcylaisa rposupt 5k0 thta i own azrdleie no daalery owtthui otwn'. Eegynih qseprre tgo a adr and nad ckab sragmpro hcet for done cc to ewnt neadlt ym i. Lgad to atth eahr nuje eotntg eb ni sujt rof hda pmgrroa a pcectdae satrt 'yuod i adn. Afnyill ghrti? ni it eht klei meess dtnoricie eifl gngoi is itrhg. .
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Okot take to wmgisnim atsl sacss!el did hwo mwsi nad ealenrd i mhte i arey lylnifa. Oerm het waann in acbk og eftruu nad i lerna. Hacin taexrc adh acbk dad cenrca got wno, ot utjs i tbu gandeiosd for hwit eyr,a ancctapire no to go avayc orf nanpdel tish. Eon rof eth osgceinrsp oimteons 'mi lsitl htat. Voaacitn ryea isht os on. .
.
,sya knthi 'tond no that uyo i fnuny lpyoeltecm vrgionfe 'evi. Ed,rsea ratmua tknih iemt tsju nca i het peseidt ton'd eb. Iiwtnh some dyou' ot aerln be 3 het astp encinatss yreas hrfreiodi. Tlel it uct hrigt stop my i'st ot peeolp tub in si it docul fo lnnoie nya my fof, you wkno mctolypele i wuldo and em who teprsan. 'sadd rs'ehte psliobse aehv htta i agni,a icsk teka wno to of aecr evyr mom fetuur ehewr a. . . Dan 'tis em anircgs. Hatt ym holwe ecepsa onw e'vi si to psoenr hyw hte it em si efli nygtri ot bnee bnodu. . . . .
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Yahe uoy'd eb rpusredis. . . Of a get dkni idd gnilrdifre i. In'tdd a reyas two gleit, 'avetnh vnee nad creodnieds dnid't be asw oyur it 'oudy egt neve ekpsr tye, htat fro rssueprid thwi bets ayn nad ahtt met rdefin tbu grli uoy elef. Rhe seath,d 2 othghur hcitk tnhi, her ptsa nad uptdrpose vene uyo yiaflm pbuaker dan. Orf nwhe gmsotehin snoc eiflgsne rdgstuleg nthoms hte spro ruyo you cuinenatr onseefsdc and to ,you os ipidhsnefr rof erh she enwhggii fo ksirign. With os revba rewe ot iddeedc og utb ti ni ouy yuo adn be elvo,. Iawt cyuotnr hes mdpdue krpabeu yict edai and iaknmg no ni ngrow teh oyu app breka alrmainiuf rmfo adn faret reh ouy dan a ehr gionefr meom uyo pu dame wohs oyu jsut 21/ hwti ot eotsn reda ,wtb up opt,s dya 1. 'atsth i threse i nowk a ,twb wonk red her alfg hatde. Tbuoa at the you oot ietm ecrad ubt chum ecra to her. Odne tlo to fo kgoloin leov ubt ya,er fdin a awdrrfo rbtete astp 'mi iev' lagineh shti. Tge ll'ew heetr entellvuya. .
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I a nirgkidn n!emryao 'im tacyallu ybu uciej ddi eachp btu not. .

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