A letter from Mar 29, 2023

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, hi! this is 21 year old you. firstly i hope you’re doing well. right now it is 12:14am and i just watched a tiktok about writing a future letter. today i finally turned in my resignation letter! of course the boss called and spewed a bunch of bs to make me stay but im feeling mostly relieved that im almost out of there and onto a new chapter in life. you know ur girl is in her broke ***** era but im gonna make it work. this is the first time since i was a teenager that im not going to have a full time job and im sure you will remember how useless and lowkey stressed im feeling right now. what job did you end up getting? did you get to take swimming classes? how was starting acupuncture school? how is esther doing? im like 99.99% sure ur little sister is still the center of your life because you love her so much. i hope ur in ur hot girl era right now. im making a guess that our hair is finally long again and that makes me happy. you better not have gotten an undercut again for the third time, because you know growing that out will be a DISASTER. hey. u better go on vacation this year. or if you’re really too busy it better be soon. stop treating yourself like ****. remember u said xcaret. if not at least some tropical place please. how are mom and dad? im hoping ur at least smart enough to read pulse and help mom do some cupping now, or else im sure you’ll feel like a useless piece of ****. as much as i hate to admit it i think by today you probably have almost completely forgiven mom and dad. and i think that’s good. I don’t blame them for any trauma, i just hope we’re strong enough to take care of them now. did u get a girlfriend at all? although im currently opposing the idea of a relationship i know that you still wish for someone to connect and care for you. i hope that there’s someone to tolerate your situation and love you for who you are. im pretty sure you’re still unable to come out, but it’s okay. I’m sure we’re getting there soon. don’t get brainwashed back to homophobia christianity gurl. I’d hate you for it if u do. buy a bottle of soju and cheers yourself today! us making it through is worth celebrating. i love you so much and i look forward to the you im becoming. 🤍

Epilogue

about 21 hours later

hey 21 year old me,

funny thing is i completely forgot this letter existed. i know there's another one i wrote a while ago though, that one seems to stick...

Ndmi my no. I yb o'ntw mrbemere it eth gtes didveeelr iemt emyba. .
.
Ioggn lehto rkedwo hnatreo 2 aeyrs we kbac edden hte i a,t rehte dtasey rof and pu ot. Wrtso voedm na miet idtse'tsn a to adn uqit tath tenitsd ym w,bt i of enth ielf irkwngo tish coff,ie neo taulbeso at pos is. Sinttrdey semo ioedntp het btu lppeoe ot i ta otn dan me in igrht atlse layrle - ti diencoitr met uenineg do. .
.
Vneer 'vei esethr tgrae is eenb ngdio rmeo and poudr. Reevy be erbtet wya ot hse mssee niesovr us eht of ni. Nad desnfir own, is tols ta dame usc a of seh graet. Insefdr emda aptr lal a boj hewer ahs erh mite oals eetrh veol nad ekocrorsw she ttlile ,hre. You ingmiea thta cry ltels em and reyv anc ihcwh tnotcne ,ifel to wthi kaesm me sshe' ehs ypahp wtan. .
.
Veyr ettill tsap lyflian ahir glno my a 'ist nglo ngi,aa ctylaual is ym watsi. Was it nwriggo abd i ttah uneucrdt mrbeerem tou owh. Giaan verne. Dynig aldg up ont'd u'ody ot hari atth cskut kdi edn uleb gnido my vie' eb si ,nagai not ti lyerla hiltg to utb i dna eptnmtgi eahr rlenecty pohe em. Lpasn ubzz im i ooly hvae epiix tcu ot go rfeobe rithg? dan 0,3.
.
2 etesssrme hosloc taps teuacrpuncu i'dndt atls. Hiwt aladery ym rfo k05 nda lla yigapn lisnicc ttha my epatsnr crdmaepo nay no no rutsppo onw boj twhi i rwko irelezad wt'no ot rcyuseti uowhtti stsalcaems silacblay. Thec qseperr fro tgo ot ldtnae nad dna a mrgaorps abck edno dra cc yniegeh tnew my i. Sttar ahd dlag tusj a i rof in nad unej 'udyo ot gttneo mgpraor eb edecptac rahe tath. Inyalfl het ti ?rithg ni eesms tigrh lkie ifle cdiretoin si gngio. .
.
Gnimmswi hwo sssel!ac otok adn wsmi idd i i ryea linylfa to aneredl ltsa aekt htem. Wanan kcab adn i erlna in ermo go eht reftuu. Hniac ,won ahd vayac tgo annpdle iths cncear dgioadsen tbu for go sutj add no ot i ofr ot a,yre whit teccpraani acxtre cbak. Siltl ienmsoto fro 'mi ossipcerng eth eno ttah. Ryea no ocvantia os ihts. .
.
No td'on ihntk geonivfr sya, oyu oeylecmtlp nunyf thta i ev'i. Nac tndo' be ,edarse siteepd umtraa tiknh tmie eth i tujs. 3 doy'u nrlae aspt inthiw iofrhredi cnstnaeis semo be asrey eht ot. Fo pnertas pots 'its utb ti lowdu you any ym i is in em ym ohw lnineo ti to fof, ltel ltpemoeycl ownk eopple ctu nda ocdlu rihtg. Tereh's nwo haev eruutf ot earc add's ttah ckis omm i yrev kaet eerwh a of lissbope inag,a. . . Adn ncirgas em its'. To apesce ti oewlh eht em taht ebne si osepnr ytingr odbnu ym flie ive' to is own hyw. . . . .
.
Siurpders be haey ou'dy. . . Idd egt liigfrrden fo ndki i a. Itwh lirg ayn ubt nda rsddnceeio drenfi ,tey for yuo vnee steb 'aetnhv rsaye mte ryuo saw ody'u dusperirs te,lgi tow prkse efel tath enve get adn tddn'i be a ti t'ndid hatt. Lfaiym ehr hte,sad sporpudet kbeprau 2 yuo dna reh hn,it uohhtgr and chitk eenv satp. Kgisrni srpo fo niedfripsh ofr so htogesnmi dan ieignwhg ocsn eht hmtsno y,ou nrnutceia oryu oyu to sscefnode fsnileeg reh esh sutgreldg enhw rfo. Hiwt rwee og eb oyu bevra ni it ve,lo cdidede adn ot but ouy so. Her you ot in aedr t,bw wnorg enrofig pmeudd uoy yurtocn no a omme juts o,pts yuo iawt rhe nikgma dna pu seh onset dan erbka eadm up fmor yad eht ytic ouy etarf ruapkeb 1 eaid nda pap /12 unilmiafra tihw hwos. A ownk i aglf i ,wbt kwno that's thdea rhe rtehes dre. Oto yuo to aerdc het mite rhe aerc btoua uchm ta utb. Btu trtbee e,yra 'vei lot oevl sthi wdrorfa a lhingea to nogkoli 'mi past eodn fo dinf. Teerh tge we'll atvlueynle. .
.
Idd ejuci a byu 'mi ton tlaluacy eacph tub nyae!mro gidknrin i. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Press ← and → on your keyboard to move between letters

Write new comment

Load more comments