A letter from Mar 29, 2023

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, hi! this is 21 year old you. firstly i hope you’re doing well. right now it is 12:14am and i just watched a tiktok about writing a future letter. today i finally turned in my resignation letter! of course the boss called and spewed a bunch of bs to make me stay but im feeling mostly relieved that im almost out of there and onto a new chapter in life. you know ur girl is in her broke ***** era but im gonna make it work. this is the first time since i was a teenager that im not going to have a full time job and im sure you will remember how useless and lowkey stressed im feeling right now. what job did you end up getting? did you get to take swimming classes? how was starting acupuncture school? how is esther doing? im like 99.99% sure ur little sister is still the center of your life because you love her so much. i hope ur in ur hot girl era right now. im making a guess that our hair is finally long again and that makes me happy. you better not have gotten an undercut again for the third time, because you know growing that out will be a DISASTER. hey. u better go on vacation this year. or if you’re really too busy it better be soon. stop treating yourself like ****. remember u said xcaret. if not at least some tropical place please. how are mom and dad? im hoping ur at least smart enough to read pulse and help mom do some cupping now, or else im sure you’ll feel like a useless piece of ****. as much as i hate to admit it i think by today you probably have almost completely forgiven mom and dad. and i think that’s good. I don’t blame them for any trauma, i just hope we’re strong enough to take care of them now. did u get a girlfriend at all? although im currently opposing the idea of a relationship i know that you still wish for someone to connect and care for you. i hope that there’s someone to tolerate your situation and love you for who you are. im pretty sure you’re still unable to come out, but it’s okay. I’m sure we’re getting there soon. don’t get brainwashed back to homophobia christianity gurl. I’d hate you for it if u do. buy a bottle of soju and cheers yourself today! us making it through is worth celebrating. i love you so much and i look forward to the you im becoming. 🤍

Epilogue

about 21 hours later

hey 21 year old me,

funny thing is i completely forgot this letter existed. i know there's another one i wrote a while ago though, that one seems to stick...

My on imnd. Bamey lredveied the yb twon' sget etim bmemerer i it. .
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Heret het pu at, gogin 2 thoel i nda cabk ofr doewrk esary ot ndede we trhoean desaty. Ot meit htis htta kgiowrn one efofc,i i tneh wb,t of omevd ta nteitsd otrsw osp ituq ilef nsstited' an a dna my si uastloeb. Irhgt etm in nda at ont ot eniengu i do irdytestn hte omse rleayl - idncoerit it em but deoitnp eplpoe sleta. .
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Rome dan eervn neeb dorpu srehet digno tgrae is i'ev. Us be yaw seh smees eth ereyv ot ornvies tbeetr in fo. Fo dema ,onw is slto agter seh ta adn suc a dnfeirs. Eimt olve sha fniesdr obj tapr eadm dan rthee wreeh a esh roescwrko erh, elltti lal erh saol. Tath ervy you she flie, sshe' wichh iwht to ltsel antw me yhppa nmeiaig cyr adn eamsk em etcnnto cna. .
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Si lialynf titlle irah ulatclya nogl pats ym a gnol vrey ym aswit ,angai ist'. Ti ucerdutn atth iogrgnw dba i tou owh emeerbrm was. Nigaa vnere. Utsck it hatt eulb dalg up den my gndoi 'eiv tub ot teynlrce ltigh tndo' eptgtinm ihar yignd dik opeh i eb si ot nto rlelya a,igan adn eahr me uo'dy. G?hrti 3,0 go yolo have nad i salnp ctu foreeb im xepii zbuz ot.
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Ohscol smetsrsee td'idn lsat 2 ucrneutaupc astp. On clsinci any iowtuht to i yalcbsila thiw won k50 'town satcalmess azidreel thwi no eracdomp and lal kowr for my boj my darayel eytsiruc ttha paentrs puorpst gnpyia. Newt kbac my eond mporsagr nad ot i a nda yeehgni chet ofr pseerqr tgo cc dar edlant. Erah unej ahtt eb gtnoet dan adh in dcceatpe i 'uoyd jsut ladg a rtast fro ogrrmap to. Si flie it ihtgr oreitdnci nyiafll g?thir ggnoi in ekli the essme. .
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Mswi yare eatk e!scalss hemt idd to i isgnmmiw yilafnl atls okot nad ldernae i who. The go mreo adn tufreu i abck awnna ni nlrea. Add go ofr rencciptaa ar,ey but ot on bcak ot dha utjs xaertc siht tgo fro ,wno rcaecn iacnh daseodgni hiwt i caayv plnnead. Listl rof oointsem insocsrgpe eth atht im' eno. Eyar on so this itoavnca. .
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Dton' kinth oeplmclyte no uoy that egvforni i've ,asy i unfny. Esdrea, het i uaramt do'nt eb nac ustj itme ieepstd tnhik. Esmo 3 rdioehirf eth htiniw yrsae iscnetnas 'yudo ot eb anlre tsap. I rghti btu ti woh ym strnaep innelo of duloc tcu elcmlpyeto ,off ltle my ni ti's oyu ot epelop wdlou em dna it ayn si tsop kown. Take bloseips ecra i now urfetu thta evry of aehv iskc mmo ht'rees a ad'sd ewreh ng,aai to. . . Sraigcn me 'sti adn. It hatt onw yhw wleho het ie'v is onbud irntyg is ym to spacee em eneb iefl sernpo to. . . . .
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Usrpdrsei be eayh o'duy. . . Get i idd fo nfirgeirdl a idkn. Esbt direfn rlgi otw and tem years wsa hetavn' uoy eevn kreps it be wiht ouyd' a 'ntidd tath evne get sondecreid eelf hatt yuor tbu ayn nad g,leit rof ety, d'dtin diuresrsp. Fyamil ni,ht uakeprb 2 rhe adn dna nvee you htrhgou kcith de,htas erh tupsdepor ptas. For ofecdenss onsc iutrecnan snhmto uoy of ngkiirs reh dna oyu, ot she ewhn egelfisn ospr rouy iigngehw prisnifhed fro het os ostnhmige gsurgtlde. Os nda you tub dcddeei it to oe,lv whit in eerw ouy go raebv be. Pkauerb ost,p ustj tyci nutcryo kgmnia 1 reh dmea uoy day ,bwt reh mmeo on she otnes hitw wnrgo deia rfaet awti pu swoh pu dna in a afiaulmirn rfenoig oyu uoy dear eht baerk form ouy to 12/ and dna eupdmd pap. A rde i nkwo tb,w shatt' ehestr hre oknw i tdeha gafl. Tubao chmu to ouy caedr at tub reh reac het iemt oto. Im' gokoinl ryae, engliah of otl ot olve stih brtete find ubt eiv' atsp done a rfoadwr. Get atlelvuney w'ell teerh. .
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Jeuci a iignrknd ubt ayaclltu paech nto im' ryname!o i idd buy. .

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