A letter from Mar 19, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I just made dinner, served myself, sat down to eat as I watch my favorite YouTuber, and just before I pressed play, I broke down like a little girl. My heart is full of hurt, my soul is tired, I feel completely defeated and I don't know where it goes after this. I have no desire to soldier on. I don't wanna hear "it's gonna get better" it's proven to never "get better". Or when does it get better?! I swear on my skin, I don't wanna live like this!!! I wanna know how it'll have panned out in two years time. I hope I'll have figured it all out, I hope life will have a better meaning, I hope I'll be happy, I hope I'll be content, I hope I'll still exist🥺!