Will I ever change?

Dear FutureMe, Today I write to myself on my 30th birthday. I'm currently 24 years old with every aspect of my life together, except my relationship. I have two serious boyfriends. I really don't know how this happened, but I have two serious boyfriends, both of whom are in love with me. On top of this I have one other person who I have been seeing on and off for two years, who I am in love with. I hope that by the time I have turned 30, I have grown up and met someone I am able to love enough to marry. Right now, it seems as though whenever I meet someone great, who treats me the way I would like, I push them away. Case in point - my two serious boyfriends who would walk through fire for me. Not many people know that I have two boyfriends, other than my family and closest friends, but it is difficult! I travel for work so I am only home on the weekends and I have to juggle my time between the two of them. Sometimes I wish that I would get caught and this charade will finally end, but I never have and I wonder if it ever will. I care about them both in different ways. One was my college sweetheart, who is about to finish law school to become an attorney, and the other is a writer in the entertainment industry, with great dreams and the means to attain them. My college sweetheart is my age and the second is about to turn 30. Dear Self - I am writing you in hopes that by the time I have turned 30, I have waded through all of my commitment issues and learned to love just one person. In truth, I'm not that hopeful. I haven't changed much in the past 4 years. Oh well, when it doubt, choose the one with more money! With Love, Me