A letter from Mar 07, 2023

Dear God, If you really exist, and you are God, and you got all this power, why did you abandon me? Why did you take the most precious person I had in this life? I begged you; you are God then you knew what this would mean to my life! Don't you think it was too early? wrong moment? timing? I wasn't home, couldn't even say goodbye to her. Is that how you operate? How could I possibly still believe you are for me and with me if this is how you operate? and do you believe there is a way I could fully believe or trust you like I once did? Now I just live because I am not brave enough to **** myself. wake up every day, fake smiles and happiness, can't create real connections and don't care about much. Everybody else who had the same beliefs as I did, they try to "remind" me of who you are, what you did for me. The thing is including the things you did and allowed to happen to me, there's my mother's *****. It's insane to think life makes no sense now and you could've probably avoided it, but you didn't. I hope you keep working in favor of the ones you destined happiness.. I'm clearly not one of them!