awareness

Dear Stephanie, Here's a story I want to tell you, in case you've grown a little complacent, or your eyes have gotten a little cloudy. Still getting to the gym at least 3 days per week? Still running at least 10 miles per week? Well good for you, if you are. But hear this story, and let it really resonate with you, regardless of how you're doing. It might be helpful. One day, while finishing some chores tonight before bed, I suddenly flashed on Oprah's "make the connection" videotape, which I had watched years ago. I flashed on that moment when she talked through clenched jaw and teary eyes about how much time she felt she had wasted. Wasted. That she'd never get it back, any of it. I thought about my own "wasted" time -- wasted years of being young and cute and carefree, when dating was easy and fun. Why had it taken so long to "get it"? And I realized, it's hard because it's not a pretty thing to face, and frankly, food's more fun. It's hard to face every day just what you're doing to yourself, what you've done to yourself. And oddly enough, food helps to hide from that reality. It's a lovely little escape, those little morsels, where you feel so good for the moment that you can pretend you're ok. Pretend you don't have a problem with food. Pretend you're just like everyone else. But you're not just like everybody else -- this is the monkey that will always be on your back. And when you stop and take stock of exactly who you are, without food there to help you hide from that, then it gets hard. So make it your goal to make sure every day is a little hard. That way, you'll know you're still awake. If you're not doing so well, that's ok. Just open your eyes. Everything begins with awareness. It's ok. It's hard, and it's every day. That's what life is about. -stephanie