A letter from Feb 11, 2023

Dear FutureMe, Hey. This was actually sent from February 12, 2023. Currently for me, it's 1:27 AM. Today, we just found out he deleted his dummy account na he's using to stalk us. Right before the 13th. That dude, I swear to God, he knows the right choices of dates when to leave. Kaninang umaga, we dreamt of him. Though I'm not sure if he's the same person for that whole scene dream but for once, we'd like to believe it was him. So there's this ancestral house, right? And we live there. And there's this man na owner siya ng house na 'yon and though he owns it, there's this one room only me, yeah i mean us, had access. And that day in our dream, I guess we're bidding goodbye, like we're moving out. So to say farewell, we finally opened the room to him and it goes like "since ikaw naman may ari ng bahay na to, karapatan mo naman malaman kung ano yung nasa loob" something like that and we led the way. The door opened and the room seemed empty but there's this one shelf. Sa shelf na 'yon, may mga parang log books or diaries or journals or notebooks. I really don't know what to call them. 3 layers yung shelf and puno yon ng mga notebook but among them are our baby pictures. Two baby pictures in a frame. It seemed old. Like mamila old. Like brown old. Or like, nanay old. But it was me in the picture. I know because that's the only baby picture I had a copy of. So he enter the room and took a look at the shelf and just snatched our two frames and elegantly and nonchalantly walked out like his body was saying "this was all i need". the dream went on but he wasn't in there. The earlier parts of the dream, I was with two boys who seemed to be crushing on me and I'd like to believe the other one was him. The moment I woke up, I felt a sad ball in my chest. It was heavy. I feel like crying, screaming, throwing up, literally. And just at this hour, he left. He knows a lot of ways to leave and come back and make us relapse all over again. The throwing up feeling was like a sign by the universe, or so I'd like to call it that way. Right before we knew about this, we were feeling gloomy, angst, and we feel like drowning and we opened our fb account to see one notification where he loved react one of our sharedpost and when we clicked that to see what post it was and it says "story not available" and so we screenshot it like always only to find out he's gone. That ************ still knows how to play. He makes sure to hurt us in different little ways. I don't know anymore. I feel so lost again. Or confused. Or mad. I really don't know. I just know that I don't want this feeling. Tbh, I was planning to send this to you after a year but since I'm a self destructive *****, I'm gonna send this further away. Know at this moment, we just tweeted a lot about him leaving. We're affected and we can't admit it to anyone because we love to act like we're not bothered at all, like it meant nothing but the truth is, we thought na baka pakiram*** niya wala na siya sa'tin. Na baka akala niya, masaya naman tayo ng wala siya. Nakuha niya na yung update na gusto niya. I guess he's not expecting for a closure anymore. By the time you read this, I hope, God I really do, that you don't dream of him anymore. That this is the only thing that made you remember him and God forgive me because I know it's either you're laughing as you read this because you're thinking we're some pathetic ***** or you're gonna regret me writing this to you and sending it years later only for you to be reminded of him again because we love to sabotage ourselves. And I hope it's the former. But if not, you better buy a drink for yourself. Sayonara.