A letter from February 11th, 2023

At 16, I thought I found love. But I just love the idea that someone cared for me, looked out for me, listened to my rants and everything. All my life I have always been a secretive person, even my closest friends know almost nothing. I tend to be cut off when I'm saying something so when someone arrived who is more than willing to listen to me I felt attached. Ganto pala feeling ng napakikinggan. I was able to get things off my chest, I found a comfortable spot. So when I cane to know that that person cheated, I wasn't able to let go. Kasi siya lang naman nakikinig sa akin, pakiram*** ko siya lang meron ako. That was so painful for me to the point na I think I felt numb. I wasn't able to let out my emotions freely, in fact I needed to read or watch something sad so that I can cry. I was always taking deep breaths, because my heart feels heavy. We changed, everything changed. I felt guilty about dropping that person when she said she's already committed to me but I am hurting with that person.