A letter from Feb 03, 2023

well imma just start because idk what to say i was born on a warm sunny day in july 8th 2008, i lived in sweden and i was a very playful child, i grew up with family and cousins in the same neighborhood and same school, life was perfect as a child. I hadnt experienced growing up and having resposibillities yet, i was always walking to school with my cousins and doing everything together, we were unseprable. Even tho i was bullied i always had my cousins by my side, always, they never left me. Years go by and something bad happened. my moms brother cheated on his wife, and his wife is my dads sister. my dads side of the family started hating my mom and talking bad about her and bashing her even tho she didnt do anything but they did it simply because she was his sister. It wasnt my moms fault that he cheated and i completley understand that they were mad but it was very wrong of them to sit here and talk about my mom, my mom raised them, all my dads siblings lost their mom when they were very young, aged 7 to 14, she clothed them, fed them, helped them, and did everything for them (im refeering to my dad side of the family that she helped, she paid their rent, helped them get back on their feet, paid for their food, even tho we were strugguling with money. she was truly a wonderful woman. we found out my uncles wife which was my moms best friend at the time was talking **** about my mom, my brother had heard her thru the door and told my mom and she came and they were fighting, it got physical really fast, my dads step mom was also a part of this, she would steal from us, money, jewlerey, plates, clothes, and much more my mom would go out and my dads step mom would baby sit me, she would leave me out in the cold with no clothes in the winter when it was snowing outside and only let me in when my mom came, she would also beat me up for no reason and threaten me if i told my mom. after my mom and uncles wife were fighting they all hated my mom, i was out a bit late one day and my parents were fighting, i was blamed for the divorce by my mom which affected me alot since i was 8 at the time, i still a baby, i was also being bulled in school by my classmates and treated differentley because i wasnt white with blonde hair and blue eyes, i was more different than them. which led to me developing depression and anxiety at a very young age, i would cry everyday and feel hopeless, no one helped me. no one cared. no one even acted that they cared, they all just acted like i was some joke. after my parents were fighting everyday he kicked my mom and my siblings out including me, we lived in a car and then in a house with a bunch of other people, idk what its called but its like a people home, we slept on one couch and no blanket, we were 5 people, i was 8, my sister was 4, my brother was 2, and my big brother was 10. as u could imagine i had no friends, no family, and no one to listen to me, everyone treated me horribly which led to me being left out and then having suicidal thoughts ever since i was 8. no one knew because they werent experiencing the same thing as me, i was just a child after all, i would be misrable for about 2 years untill me and my mom and siblings flew to iraq to visit family for the summer, they would talk **** about me, rip my clothes, break my phone, treat me like straight up ****, all because they were jealous freaks, i hated them , and i always will, i dont know how u could do something like that to anyone, they ruined my reputation, and i got ******* multiple times, after we went back to sweden, my dad greeted us, even tho he dissowned us, it was my grandpa that made him do it, he bought me a new phone and we lived with him for a white with matresses on the floor because my mom had surgery and she couldnt take care of us, after a while my parents got back together, i hated it, they would argue and get back together again, and again, and again, it was just a cycle. fast forward they started hating my dad, they would not invite him to certian family meetings because he went back to us, the kids and mom, they would show up to my moms house when my dad was there and yell at him, they were horrible and disgusting human beings, i feel really bad for my mom sometimes, she would sit and cry all night, even tho shes abusive and probably hates me, i still love her, i love her alot, more than she could ever imagine, i just have a hard time expressing my emotions. when i was in 7th grade is when i started healing, the abuse was still there and i still had ptsd from it all, it never got better, in fact, it got worse. my mental health was so bad that i wouldnt even eat. i just sat and played all day, my grades were dropping and my parents would yell at me for it everyday. fast forward to now im trying to find the right time to tell my parents how i feel, im really ashamed abt it since im a dissapointment and stuff but yeah, im still depressed and i have anxiety and i think im bipolar or i have adhd, but ill check that out in the future, because my family dosent believe in mental health. i know i would say when i was 14 i would have a perfect life but no, i hope the future holds something better for me, something worth all this pain ive been put thru, and this text isnt even it all, theres more, even worse stuff, i dont even wanna talk about, thats just gonna sit at the back of my head till something horrible makes me remember it, i hope it dosent happen, ever. im only 14, went thru all this, wonder what 18 holds for me. well ladies and gentelmen this was the end of season 1 season 2. in the future mabye.