A letter from Feb 1st, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Hello there, it’s you from the past. I would like to remind you that you wrote this while on the toilet and listening to the audiobook of Louisa May Alcotts, ‘Little women’. You love the book, maybe when you read this letter it’s time for a re-read! Okay so about your current, or wait no past situation. You have been in America for 4 ish months, you’ve loved it, you’ve hated it. It allows you to travel but man you get frustrated with less-than-tidy people. This letter is going to be a mess of past and future times lol. Okay so uhm, you’ve been to New York! Awesome! I hope by the time you read this you’ve been many more times. You’ve also been to Boston twice, yay! Perhaps by the time you read this you’ve fulfilled your dream of living in NYC, I don’t know how you plan to do that though. Like you’re a poor hoe, and a Material Gurl. How are you going to live there and pay for books? You’ll miss your books from way back home??? Okay anyhoo, what else should I tell you. Oh yes, Daisy passed away little over two weeks ago. Somehow I am in a weird place that lets me ignore it? I think I’m stuck in the denial phase of grief or I’ve somehow sprung to the acceptance phase which doesn’t make any sense. I think when i go back home I’ll really see that she’s gone and I’ll actually realize it. It’s a weird thing, when I want to feel sad I just kind of can’t right now? I’m reading this other book which is kind of sad, normally I think I would’ve cried but somehow I can’t. It’s weirdly frustrating. I’m afraid it’s all going to bottle up and explode. Oh well. Maybe I’ll have had a mental breakdown by the time I’ve read this letter! Or maybe I am once again being a sad little thing ever in need of attention. Who knows. Okay what else. Being an au pair is fun but you’ll probably be glad once it’s over, can you imagine not having to pick up after anyone? Amazing. Not cook dinner everyday? Awesome. Only do your own laundry? Great. Not have to entertain a spoilt child? Wild. Not have to endure a teenagers anger? Insanely nice. Anyhoo, I’m good at complaining. Some days my job is very easy, I also did not love teaching that much so what, what am I to do with my life but be a trophy wife? It is my destiny. Maybe you’ve already found a sugar daddy! Yay. I think when you’ll receive this letter you’ll be wildly disappointed for it is a mess and not very exciting. I’m just short of exciting things to tell I guess.