A letter from January 30 2023

👀 I hate what life has come to. I'm living in a house i don't like doing a job i don't like with someone who is equally unhappy with how things are rn too. We have barely any time to do absolutely anything and life is going way too quickly. Last time i remember things goin ok is like 2020 and ****... i have insane trauma that is ruining how i think and view relationships and my book is going nowhere because im too scared to write. I'm pretty sure Squishy is wary of me and I'm treating him badly by accident ;-;. I just want everything to go better and actually look forward to the future instead of just floating through life. However i try i just can't build a routine. I've got a journal now and thats good to use to remember the day alot of the time but it doesn't help with small things like washing up and brushing my teeth. I hate birth control, - is there more to say? It sucks. Pretty sure it was suppressing my appetite and **** and now I'm pretty sure its depressing me. Ima try to make things better. I promise. But it's hard ;-;.