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Dear FutureMe, This is a belated reply to my birthday mail. I was a bit out of headspace on my birthday, and was in no place to write an introspective retrospective letter. Today I seem to have slashed through the clouds around my head and am seeing to the horizons and also within myself. See your journal for a better explanation to how I feel. Are you still in England? I don't think I plan to be, the earliest I want to be home by is Christmas, and I would prefer not to spend another winter here in teh UK. Who knows? I was talking to Elaine at work today about my plans and Visa limitations, she reckons management would sponsor me to stay on if I wanted. The money IS good, but I would want to have a more involved role there if I was to stay on, do more than 3&1/2 days a week and be involved in the resettlement work. Who knows, maybe I could stay on and study here in Oxford? Maybe you'll be sitting in Sydney reading this, and all these options will have passed you. Whereever you are, remember the goals i wrote in your journal today? Are you sticking to them? What are your study plans? Plans for work? Plans for marriage? Are you still taking loads of photos and trying to be a good photographer? Did you end up buying the E-500? At the moment the shop is refusing to let me pay for it in installments, and I cant afford to pay the £550 upfront. So you're twenty three today... Oh! I'm still coming to terms with 22! At least at 21 I could still feel connected to being young, 21 is the last age being young, in a sense. When I was in year 12, Dan Korocz was in a band, and they had a song called Stay Young, remember? I wanna stay young, I'm not growing up... Well, I think I can say I don't wanna stay young. I don't know if I wanna grow up, either, but being older and trying to be young is kinda sad. Can we grow old without growing up? How is being a Godfather going? To date, it has consisted of about 4 postcards in 10 months... Bit of a poor effort. I'm going to try and ring him tomorrow, else his mum is going to think I'm not really trying. What else? How is you spiritual life, man? You have moments of blinding vision and passion, usually followed by weeks of distraction and tension. Look up. Who is God to you today? Remember to treat your girlfriend with Love & Respect. Don't hold stuff back from her and don't try and make the thing work all by yourself, because you always end up feeling isolated and betrayed then you go and blow off at her because you let her slip into a passive role in the relationship. You had a great talk with her a few weeks ago, and you both talked about the relationship in a way that didn't end up with her crying or you storming out. Why? Because you were looking for a solution, instead of problems. Try & remember that. To sum up; Hope I have a bonza year, and that I have grown into you, and that you are a wiser, smarter, more developed human who has travelled a lot and done some amazing things. From Me. PS- Is John Howard STILL the PM? If he is- KILL YOURSELF!! =)