A letter from Jan 24, 2023

Dear FutureMe, i wonder how things are going with your life right now , cause now they are better , i have ever been this happier since probably 2019. Who are your friends now? Are you in love with someone? If thats the case I hope he or she is a great person and dont let anyone hurt you. Last night you thought of him after a lot of time since you thought you get over it , but now i think he is the type of wound that never ends to heal. I will cry when I suudenly find a piece of a letter he wrote me and its okay , but I hope you are able to feel nothing about him. About your friends at the moment they are a little bit ... TOXIC ASF. Well, actually only some of them but you still have that person that is perfect, you know her right? Im sure you are still friends because if not im going to hit your ***. I dont know why i feel like writing about him, i think thats becuase last night i read my old diaries and it bring me back memories. Sometimes I wonder what did go wrong, although i know i was the reason why we stopped talking. I hate myself for that. I wish you stayed forever but everything happens for a reason i guess. After 2 **** years I still remember the first time you talked to me, the first hug you gave me. The bad thing is that I also remember the last talk, the last hug. 19/06/2021. Maybe you still remember my bday (24th May) or maybe you dont, but i will remember yours always (21st May). We thought we were cool or lucky for having almost the same birth date. It was always fun hanging out with you, i know you wont read this but i need to tell this out loud. I didnt fall in love , but i know you did. I was scared, and Im so sorry. I wish we did things differently. My only regret nowadays is letting you go, and i cant do anything about it. I just miss you, thats all. I just wanted you to know that every pieces of me aches for you. Im sorry and I still love you and I wonder what do you think about me when we cross eyes in the school corridors? Do you feel ashamed when you hear my name? I wish we could start it all over again (from P to J) Well, that was... heavy. I hope you are all over it cause its been 2 years and im still crying for the same ****. This year started out great. Im trying my best. 2023 sounds like 2019 and im happy for that, we even have a school trip to Italy, which i hope never happens that will cancel it. Im so excited for the rest of the year. We are planning to go to Mallorca this summer and i want to because the last time was so fun. Im eating again buuuuut the bad thing is i started 6m071ng and that **** is addictive, also im not very clean anymore for sh but i still think it feels so good. I feel proud of myself because i go through a lot, and i did it alone, I (try to) dont let anyone treat me badly or if they do i dont care. If they are jelaous i wish to them the double of what i have. I dont know what else to write... tomorrow ive got a maths exam and im going to fail but its okay cause i dont want to do maths ina future, did you? I hope my friends get better and I hope everyone you treat right deserves it. You deserve to be happy. To everything to be great. I want you to be happy, with your body, with all you have, to be comfortable with your personality and your body. You grew but you will still grow, wiser and happier. Dont worry about things that wont worry you in 5 years, its not worthy. Invest in moments, spend time with your loved ones, dont be scared to try new things. I dont know where are you right now of if you are having a hard time but remember to be happy, to cry , to get angry to express your emotions. Dont forget to love, dont forget to tell them you love them. Life is too short, make memories, try everything. Keep trying, its okay to feel overwhelmed, take breaks of life if you need it. Fall in love, dont be afraid, remember life is fun.I wish someone told me three years ago everything was gonna be okay, so now im telling you this. Everthing bad passes, good moments pass too but life is not lineal. Remember to wake up everyday just happy to be alive, cause everyday is a new start. I hope you found happiness in people, books, music and life in general , in the littel details, in a slow kiss, in dancing or singing, in writing. I hope you are not afraid of showing up who you are, dont be afraid of loving the things or people you like. Lifes to short to worry about things that people wont remember the next 5 minutes. Changes take place little by little, be patient, dont rush. You are going to make a beautiful life for us, i know that, but just do it for us, cause we deserve happines. Sincerely, Patri <3