A letter from Jan 21, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I hope you have life figured out much better than I do right now. You'd be 27 by the time you're reading this, possibly planning for your 28th birthday--likely with a couple of friends and family. I won't fool myself into thinking that by the time you're reading this, you'd have a boy beside you making you happy. At the rate that I'm going right now, you'd probably still be dating around and struggling to make any meaningful romantic connections. And that is okay. I read somewhere that soulmates don't have to be romantic. Soulmates can be purely platonic. And I think I've found that in my best friends right now. So as long as you're still friends with them, then that'll be enough for me. I'm currently in a transition phase, career-wise. I'm waiting on a job offer from a big company--the perfect company based on location, reputation, and compensation, in my opinion. I hope this pans out well. I hope you, 27-year-old me, are now working at that big company you've always dreamed about. I hope you're getting paid well. I hope you've managed to travel more, make more memories, and indulge. Dear God, I hope at 27 years old, you no longer have boy drama. Boys are a waste of time. I hope you're not still in "good terms" with your ex, because we all know that that is utter ********. Stop clinging to the past, it's embarrassing. I also hope you're not still seeing that pilot who DJs on the side. He's too pretentious, too judgmental, and too flaky. Stop convincing yourself that he's your type just because he's one of the nicer ones. He's not. He may feel the closest to home out of all the boys you've been dating so far, but there's just no attraction there. I hope you're not seeing that doctor that wants to take you climbing and bouldering too. You already know that you would never fit into his bougie crowd. He says such flowery words and knows how to flatter you, but he doesn't know the real you. He only sees the outside, only sees the pretense that you put on for the public. He knows the you that shows up on TV. He doesn't know the you that gets drunk alone every other day just to get a good night's rest. I ******* hope you're not pining over what could've been with that gym guy with a trust fund. He doesn't like you, get over it. He told you from the start that he wasn't ready for a relationship. And you were no better either, you said you felt the same way. You didn't know how to communicate that you were starting to like him, so how was he supposed to know? How was he supposed to deal with it? You were both **** at communicating. I hope you're still not imagining what could've been with him. You were dating him for the aesthetic anyway. He may be the prettiest boy you've dated so far, but he was also the most privileged--the most entitled. He blows his savings on NFTs and crypto. He spends thousands of dollars on obscure digital drawings. For his sake, I hope that three years from now these drawings are worth more than gold. He's genuinely nice, just not that grounded. Oh, to be a rich boy with daddy's money. You guys were never gonna work out anyway. He's a different level, a different class. His crowd wasn't your crowd. You're a small town girl, he's the old rich city boy. Life isn't a Hallmark movie. I hope you're focusing on yourself and focusing on growth. Never stop growing. Never stop learning. Please learn more new things. Don't stagnate. Right now it feels like I'm ******* floundering through life. I've got no savings, a couple of trips lined up for the year with barely any means to pay for them, a new (expensive) phone plan that I'll definitely struggle to pay for, and a job that I ******* hate but can't seem to leave. This coming week will be the make or break for me, I think. I'll probably get the job offer in a few days. Let's hope it'll come with an attractive salary, so I can finally quit my current job. I've been at my current company for nearly four years now, and it's driving me crazy. I'm getting nowhere. It's getting me nowhere. I've gotten all the exposure and experience that I can squeeze out from my current company. It's about **** time I ******* leave it for something better. I am underpaid, and I deserve more. Again, I do hope that, at 27 years old, you've finally got your **** together. I hope your family is well and healthy. I hope your sisters are happily married with children. I hope you're still friends with the same people I have around me right now. And I hope you're contented. That's all that I can really ask for. Still Anxious, C