A letter from Jan 17, 2023

Dear FutureMe, If you’re reading this that means you kept going and you’re soooo strong. Right now life is taking a huge toll on me and I don’t know if I can keep going on. I’ve been feeling this way for a very long time but it seems these past few days it’s gotten stronger. Nothing in my life is together. I feel so lost and worthless. Everything that once fulfilled me just doesn’t anymore. Adulting is not easy AT ALL. Taking care of bills and also trying to remember to eat is stressssful. I’ve gone from eating twice a day to barely even once now. I’ve been crying so much that my head hurts. I just don’t understand why I can’t be happy. I feel so alone. I regret opening up and falling in love. I really thought I found the person I’d be spending my life with but he doesn’t feel the same way. I’m constantly being let down. One minute it seems like things are finally turning around for the better and then the next everything is just going back downhill. I pray that you keep holding on and fight to get out of this hole. It may seem like you can’t but I know you can do it. You’re so strong, smart and loved. If things really don’t happen to work out with him. You will be ok. There’s that special someone out there waiting for you that will see your worth and only want you. So please don’t lose yourself over him and give up on love. I wonder what you ended up doing. Did you go into trucking? Are you still running your cosmetics business? Youtube? At the moment I’m not passionate about anything but I’m sure you have it figured out by now & you’re finally financially stable. Traveling, enjoying life, eating good and taking care of your family. This storm will not last forever. You will be 100% happy again. If no one else loves you just know I love you. Please keep going!! You have to live out your dreams.