A letter from Jan 16, 2023

Hey uh I am so numb after 9th grade. Or maybe I'm just so out of it. Ambot bay. Kanang feeling nga I'm stuck all this time in a loop. Tapos hayst. IDK. Torn between IT, Social Work, Tourism, or just going numb. I am sooooo disappointed to myself man. I get that all of us have each path and paces pero I feel like, I'm behind na. Sometimes I'm so numb, or maybe I'm pretending it's not there. Naa koy gusto ma experience or kaya I want to be out there. At the same time, I'm constantly reminded nga not to follow the world. Gets? When I read some things related to Him, I just... Moments like this make me always want to talk to Him. When I do, IDK what to say bc as I said, after being so lost and confused, I'm practically numb. Go with the flow and accept everything as they go.. Sorry but **** this ****. Sorry. Im just... Im happy, but like idk man. Gusto ko mag whine pero idk where to start. Im taught nga instead i thank for it. FOR WHAT? hay. Am i a martyr? Kanang feeling bay nga gusto ko mag hilak-- ywkis. Yatat. Alex. I just want to remind you that you can never run away. Alex, you feel like that because you need it. Me. Come back to Me. Spend time with Me. You need to reveal it to Me. No point in hiding from Me. I will never let you feel like you are forever a slave of sin. You are mine. I know you more than you know yourself. I know the sighs and the silence. I notice everything. Tell me your fear, don't be afraid to tell Me your anger. Stop hiding from Me. I am drawing near. You might think you are not worthy of My Love. Those who believe in Me. They are My children. You are mine. I have everything in control, and I want you to put your faith in Me. Child, heaven is higher than earth. Rely on Me. I love you. He. IDK whose voice that was. Maybe His. Emotional moments like this... Makes me have irrational and not think or process well. So glad to have the access of His Holy Spirit. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Bruh He makin me 😩😩