A letter from Jan 10, 2023

Dear FutureMe, As always this is a lot harder to write, than it is to read. A lot has happened since I last wrote one of these. I cant wrap my head around the fact that you'll be 21 nearly 22 when reading this. You've finished Uni?! Hopefully that means you've done good, because right now you're just about passing, which isn't a bad thing I mean, you've only just started uni. One of my lecturers said we are 1/6th of the way done with uni, which is scary. They really didn't lie when they said life will fly by. Sixth form feels like forever ago, but it never felt like 2 years, and uni? oh its going by so much quicker than I want it to go. Sometimes I wish there was a pause button where I could stop and enjoy the moment, enjoy not having to do much being a first year, enjoy being young, stupid, being allowed to make mistakes. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. you're probably laughing at me right now, because to you I know nothing, but right now I feel like I know the world. Currently its 2:07am, I am sat in my dorm (CBG1) writing this letter to you. I am currently going through a phase of nostalgia. I keep looking back at old pictures, and remembering what life used to be like. Maybe it's because in the last year so much changed has happened. I am not the same person I was a year ago, life was different, everything around me was different. I wasn't happier, actually I am a lot more happier now, but something about those memories gives me comfort. A feeling of belonging almost. Moving out was a weird but good experience. I actually really like my uni town, but I do hope to move out of here when I finish uni. I feel like that will bring me better opportunities. I'm currently dating Ano, and I really hope that we last, but you never know what the future might bring. I think a year ago me would be shocked if I went back and told her that her and Ollie would never last, that the way she was feeling in that relationship was not normal and that she had enough courage to break up with him. Past me wouldn't believe where we are now, who we are with and who we lost on the way. Maybe I shouldn't be, but i am also shocked about losing Maia. I think we just grew apart. But its true not everyone is permanently in your life, some are only around for the time you need that person. And you know its not as sad as I expected it to be, neither was losing my first boyfriend. Obviously I was sad at the time, but over 6 months on from both situation, I've learnt that it happens. I had some good times with them, we fell, we laughed and we grew apart. It's not a bad thing, but I will cherish the moments Ive had with them. I know I have a good heart and there's no point being angry about the past, I no longer have control over it. Nor do I regret it. Never regret anything that made you smile. I am also waiting for a reply from Aldi's about a job, hopefully I get it as I am a broke student. I quite my first job around a month ago, which was also a weird experience. I was at Primark for over 1 year, nearly 2 and that was my first job. It really felt like the end of an era walking away from a job that ive spent so many hours at, the job which introduced me to the world of work, but it was definitely time for a change. I really needed a job which could help me grow a bit more out of my comfort zone and Primark was no longer fulfilling that. You know I think its important to change when you feel too comfortable, or you get too good at the job because if you don't walk away then you will struggle walking away later. You cant grow in an environment where you don't push yourself, even meeting new people. But I have so many questions! First of all are you still with Ano? if so are you moving in together??If not what happened?? what was the best and worst part of uni? made life long friends?? what's the living situation like? do you still keep in contact with anyone from your home town?? What did you get at the end of uni? where do you work? any career plans? How's Kacper and your parents? anyways hope you're doing well, past you :)