A letter from Jan 03, 2023

Dear Future Joel, Right now I am trying to stay in shape, and making sure I get into college for free. I want to buy an island and survive off the land instead of buying groceries. I want to build a cob house and eventually not rely on store bought items. I want to make my own clothes, items, home, and grow my own food. I eventually want to move to Puerto Rico and take over grandpa's farm. If not I would want to buy a pacific island where I can build my own village home. I can invite my family and we can all live there for break. I want to make it a place where we can all go to get a break and relax. Right now I need to start applying to colleges and get scholarships.If anything, I might just go to study archaeology, Zoology, and the study where you learn about plants. I just want to have the knowledge to live alone with my family while knowing what is a safe and what is good. We live on 6 Strathmere road rn. Mom is cutting her hair, Alyssa is a sophomore in college, and Julie is a junior in college. Mima still lives in Wela's house, and Dad is still working as a security guard. I run track rn, and ChuChu is being ChuChu. Rn everyone is good, but we are all plan to move far away from New Jersey. I plan to move far. But I want to Visit. I run track rn, and i'm okay at it. I'm the slowest on the team, but I'm still pretty fast. I'm trying to learn Na'vi and spanish right now. I am also learning how to wax cord braid. I practice with the bow and arrow, and weight lift. My health is important to me and I need to connect back with God. I have been shutting him out and giving into myself lately. I hope that goes away, and I decide to make the change and stick to it. I like to Run, but it get tiring. Recently I shot the bow in the backyard, and I put a hole in the neighbors pool cover. He was cool about it tho. I have physical therapy, and i'm trying to fix my scoliosis and hamstring trauma. Mom and Dad are arguing as usual, and Mima is being Mima. I have been breaking up fights lately, and I see myself not acting like myself. I have been a follower more than a leader, and I see myself trying to fit in. I put up a fake act, but I don't want confrontation. It's not worth it to me. I have noticed tho I am stronger than before. I can lift more weight, and I am pinning people. I plan to go to powerlifting and rock climb. I want to drift away from traditional lifting, and I want to lift natural items. I would prefer to lift large stones and use climbing natural objects to gain strength. Right now my close friends are, Xavier, Isaiah, and my track teammates, some of them. Rn mom and dad are together, but idk if that's gonna last long. mom keeps saying she is going to divorce him. Like always, but she seems more serious now. The other day she tried to fight him, and she came running like she was about to hit him. I had to stand in between them. Mom couldn't get past me lol. I guess i'm too strong for her. Lyssa tried to fight dad to. I broke that up. Alot of fights almost happened. Dad needs to still grow up. He keeps trying to act like the people of my generation, but he just looks stupid and childish. Moms points are valid and so is dads. They both are very immature, and keep choosing to let there past and pain affect the way that the communicate and the way that they react to the situations presented to them. I have been like that too at times. It is mostly with people that I am close with. I like to listen to Christian rap too. I told the Latino Studies class about it, and let one song play, However, I usually as her to skip the songs because I feel embarrassed and scared people are gonna judge me for it. I have to break that habit because I know Jesus would not do the same. He would not deny me as I denied him, and I know if I deny him on earth he will deny me before the Father. I have read like three pages of the Ethiopian Bible, and it is very different. I need to find my spark for God. I feel like I follow him out of guilt and not knowing what else to believe. I want to live a Christian life tho. I want to honor God, while also connecting to my native culture and roots. That's it. Many Blessings.