A letter from Nov 20, 2022

ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY!! happy twenty second birthday jenjen <33 *alexa, play 22 by taylor swift * today on november 20 2022, i’m writing this to you, my future self. and if i’m being honest with you im truly at my lowest. it just feels like physically im here but mentally im very very far away. you found out dad died on november 7, 2022 after not seeing him for almost ten years and the only thing that is going through your mind is " as your daughter, i haven’t seen you in almost ten years and the next time im seeing you is at your funeral…how is that fair? ". and yeah your right, that isn’t fair at all but i really hope you have given yourself the time to grieve. you’re in your first year of university and it’s going rough…well you’re passing but it’s been rough. but im writing this to you, my future self because although rn you are at your lowest, today you are alive because there is more. there is more to your life than this season, there’s more to your life than just sadness, there’s more to your life than your anxiety , there’s more! God is going to turn things around….idk how but I know He will. today, marks twenty two years of living and I hope today you are happy and feel extremely loved. although, first year is going rough but I believe that you made it through all four years and will be graduating and become that successful social worker you’ve dreamt to become. I hope you learned how to drive by now and passed all of your driving test after failing your G1 twice LOL. although, right now you’re at your lowest, i hope you’re still learning that you are human and it’s important to give yourself grace because jen you need stop being so hard on yourself. right now, you are in a healthy relationship with kwinscee and this year will mark 6 years of you two being together and i pray that today you both will make it to see year 6 and see many more years together. you both planned on getting married this year soooo if you have a ring on right now, i want to say i’m very proud of you & you will be such an amazing wife. but if no ring yet, dw in God’s perfect timing it will come. overall, kwinscee loves you and you don’t have to ever doubt that. you are in such good hands. harmony & shallom your two besties…i hope yall had a girls trip by now and if not ill be disappointed LOL. I hope by this year you had the opportunity to pray out loud in front of a congregation but if not that’s okay, you are still a prayer warrior. a prayer warrior even if it’s only in your bedroom. God hears you, God sees you , God sees you at your lowest and although your father has passed. God is the father to the fatherless and He has never left nor forsake you. ik right now it’s tough, you don’t know what the future holds, but rn you are trusting the one who holds the future. ik in 2026 you will be proud that your eighteen year old self didn’t give up and had hope that 2026 will be such a better place for you. anyways, idk how to end this but remember you are not alone in this battle, i can’t wait for the moment you get to read this again. love, jen