A letter from Nov 17, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Hey... First of all, as a courtesy to yourself or myself, I guess, happy belated birthday! You're 22 now so kind of old yikes. Anyways the reason why I'm writing this letter to you right now in the CDJ aka your stage because you got the news that you weren't expecting at all from your best friend. I'll just recite everything from the beginning just in case you don't remember why you're feeling sad, anxious, terrified, guilty and just ******* petrified to sum it all. Yesterday, you got the email that you've been looking forward to for like a month, the email that says that you got into the college that you were so excited to go to with your best friend. Hell, you guys even talked as if you were already in that college, and had the same ******* classes. But today, when there were no text messages from her about her acceptance into the college, you thought "oh, she didn't text me about it yet" or "oh she's still sleeping and didn't check if she got accepted into the college or not yet" and so you texted her at 6:45 am, as usual, thinking that she would respond while you were getting ready to go to your internship. But then, she didn't reply to your for 3 more hours and you started to get worried that she was mad at you or something so you texted her if she was doing okay, just as you would when she usually wouldn't reply to you for a couple of hours. Then, when she didn't reply to you after another 5 hours, you knew that something was up and finally asked if she was rejected.. although that was the last thing that you wanted to happen. She finally answered you in 4 lines that basically said "You can make your schedule, not accepted. I'm going to apply somewhere else. If you text me, I might not answer" and that broke your heart. Although it might seem dramatic to some people, she was my best friend for the last four years of high school. We basically lived with each other because it was always US against everyone and now I'm supposed to go into this big college and major in computer science without my best friend next to me. That ******* terrifies me and the fact that she said that she might not answer me breaks my heart even more. I honestly get why she said that but that makes me feel like a ******* ******* because how come I got accepted and she didn't? And although I might sound like a ******* *****, I'm worried that I might be the only one trying to hang on to this relationship once we go off to college and that she might move on with new best friends and new friends. I know that that is the thing most probable to happen but I don't want to lose her. Anyways the reason why I wanted to write this letter to you is that I wanted to know if you were still friends with her. Do you keep in contact with her? Do you still follow her on social media? Did she move on and make new friends and best friends? It has been 3 years and you should be done with college this year so that's why I'm curious to you about the status of your relationship with her. The fact that we might not still be best friends with her breaks my heart. Did you move on? Did you make new friends or are you a lonely sad person? How did you survive college because right now the thought of you surviving all alone or at least starting the semester in college alone absolutely baffles me? She always did like to joke about the fact that we might not be friends when we go off to college and I guess that's becoming a reality now so.. Idk man, I'm feeling so down right now. Anyways, good job on surviving if you're still alive and write your 19-year-old terrified self back if you have some time. I hope that you and our family's still healthy and happy, good luck. I'll write again to you or I guess your even older self so I'll see ya, ciao.