A letter from November 15th, 2022

Peaceful right?

To future me, At the present moment I am having a crisis. Maybe not a crisis by the actual definition but in my world this is a crisis. I’m 19 and I’ll be 20 next month. I haven’t yet gotten my ged and I’m always pushing back my studying, I just feel so unmotivated but I know I’ll get it within the next 5 months. I also worry about what career to pursue. I could choose a career for money and job security, software engineering or I could choose a career following my passion, music. I think I’ll choose money and job security and hope that I can pursue music on my free time, the bit of I’d have anyway. I am worried about the stress of majoring in computer science and it’s affects on my body. Having HS is very painful and stress could be a cause of flare ups. I’m currently trying to eat better foods and lose weight, it’s not an easy process being that I am unemployed. I hope to work 2 jobs, 60 hours a week for 8 months however so that I can move back yo NJ or PA to attend college there. I am so very unhappy in SC. I don’t fit in here and I live far away from most other people. On top of that I wouldn’t have the option to pursue CS at the only college close enough to me here. So if things go as planned, by this time next year I will be enrolled in community college as a computer science major in either NJ or PA. I’ll also likely be suffering tremendously.

Epilogue

4 months later

As usual, things didn’t go as planned. I do have my GED but I’m still mostly at a loss about what...

Of ot rsemt in arerce do. It, in uodlw pmeocutr to be csceien rereca treaf hstu heav wdon i ileerazd kulqyci a aws rtwionegkn fuescuslcs urereiqd. Trukc in dmni dah escin t,me rrd,vie ect neth oaliog,rdy ’evi. Sego ot ndim nda ackb my ubt csumi hater aawlys. Hte i i nokw ssscuec est i ot be fare lusueccfss chera kseat spoains naehpp ot easm dna a tdneec the tod’n imte gthroinev ni drtnysiu ’tsi etdns’o ta ksill utb hwat ytlur ym veha ti. Osniaps uftir my het vaorf ym liwl i tup the rowk in to fi ttras ese if fo i dan ist’. Olduc goln yako iwth sa say mya adn i i laif i ihntk eridt i thta i’m. Tyulr evoenery idetnsel fnylail to ot eatrh ,wedatn hwta i egt tnwe i eels tfare nad tiglten i dpospte my me. ’tis wnok lnsesde na of i tbu ascer i iggno ti ti tawn htaw juts it nda out as i lfsyem to leccy ot os od a etka nigs sujt im’. Try. I is lla naayyws od ’staht can rty. I oknw iulnt do i ’ownt. .

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