A letter from Nov 14, 2022

Dear 18 year old me, I suppose I'll start by asking you some questions. By the time you receive this, i should have taken my finals already. If things go according to plan, I've finished the IB program. How was it? Was it hard? What score did we get on our diploma? I hope it was above 40 ;) Did we choose biology and physics for our hl courses? Was it the right decision? Honestly If you're reading this, it shows you've not snapped yet. yet. Either way though, have you chosen your university yet? I'm not sure if the application processes have already started. Which school did you get into, or apply to? What major did we decide on? Have we chosen our career path for sure? For now, we're considering astrophysics or biomedical engineering, though I am curious as to wehter that has changed or not. Another thing I'm curious about is our hobbies; I wonder if they've changed a lot. For now, my biggest hobbies would be writing, wehter stories, poetry or anything else for that matter, music; I'm purchasing a keyboard in a few days, astronomy and astrophotography, as well as physics - though I am struggling a bit. I wonder what our skills are like now. I want to write a book. Have we finished it already? Maybe even published? What about our relationships? Do you talk to dad often? Did he change? I doubt so, but you never truly know; it is also why I am writing this (though I find it hard to switch between you, I, and we; considering that we are the same person, just in different..timelines?). I'm sure us and mom get along. I hope zeus is with us, alive and well. He's about 5 years old now, isn't he? I bet he's grown a lot. Cuddle him for me, please! Have we gotten any new pets? Like, a dog? If we have, I hope we named him Apollo, or Aphrodite if it is a girl. What about our friends? Have we still got the same friend group? I hope we've stayed in touch with all of them; especially Nat and Bo. Matter of fact, I know we have. They're too precious for me to let go of. We've lasted so many years together already anyway, I just hope they don't move on and forget me. What about our school friend group? As I'm writing this, we have known each other for only a few months, however it'll have been 4 years when you read this. How has our relationship changed? I hope we haven't had a falling out. Do we still keep in touch with Wit and Gogol? What about Zuzia? Those I am unsure of, considering we have not seen each other in some time. No matter the case, I have loads of memories I hold close to me with them. Like earlier this year, the class trip. We held hands when I was scared. I thought it was adorable. I still do. Do we have a boyfriend? Is it who i think it is, or have we not worked out? This is a topic that's making me anxious right now. We shall find out though, I suppose. What about our finances? Have we got a job already? I honestly doubt it, but you never know. I hope we've started investing already! Maybe we'll get rich soon? Has our mental health gotten any better? Did we get a proper diagnosis yet? I know we struggle with depression still; we have for many years now. But perhaps we are medicated as of the time in which you're reading this. I hope we've found the strength to look deep into ourselves and try therapy. If we did, did it help? I hope we've gone on many adventures; overseas, anywhere really. Maybe we've gone skydiving? Maybe base jumping? Car racing? I hope adrenaline is our primary source of happiness. I am currently craving all those experiences and fun trips. Hopefully, we've done at least a bit of them. Either way, I hope we've figured out some things. I know we will still probably feel so **** lost. Those things don't really go away with a certain age, I'm afraid. Either way, I'm proud of us, if we're alive to read this letter. It means we've stood strong through difficulties that seem overwhelming as of right now. I hope we are happy. It is what we deserve. Currently, I am stressed with school stuff, however, I am constantly reminded of the unforgiving passage of time. While it can be a good thing to know that the things that make me anxious today will someday pass, I also can't help but feel sad thinking about those, that are precious to me. I know the only thing I can do is enjoy them while I can and pray they will stay with me for as long as possible. Now that I have bombarded you with so many questions, I shall sign off. I hope our reply will be positive. If I've missed anything, I'm sure we'll remember. In the end, I've left many traces of my life right now behind; mainly poems. We shall see though. With love, Julia from 2022