A letter from Sep 18, 2022

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Right now, as of September 18, 2022, things aren't going so well... To start, You're back living with your mom and looking for work. Its hard, but you're doing all you can to keep your head up. You're single and still living with your children's father/ love of your life. To add insult to injury, you still sleep in the same bed. Things are mostly awkward and you guys argue more, but it could be worse. You have to better yourself mentally and physically before you can jump back into anything with anyone. Ultimately, you want him, but yall not there yet....maybe someday. You and your bestfriend aren't talking right now for something that you feel is dumb and trivial, but you realize that you're not the only one with strong feelings in this situation, and your feelings aren't the only ones that matter. Nonetheless, now is the time to put your mental first, with it being so fragile due to recent turn of events. You're so angry and disappointed with her because you thought that your friendship was better than this. You wanna make up, but you're so unsure and blind as to where this will go. Only time will tell. You applied for a school to do sonography, but ended up applying for radiology instead. It was either that or nothing, and you and your kids can't afford nothing...not anymore. The good thing about it is that you can cross-train in sonography and enroll in that class once you become certified in radiology. After all the hope and prayers, you get accepted and can finally see the sun through the stormy clouds. You're scared, but are also extremely excited for what's to come. The real challenge is yet to begin and you can't wait. failure doesn't scare you anymore. There's more going on, but I just wanted to recap the major stuff. I hope future me is happy and successful and loving the career I'm in. I hope I feel more confident and comfortable in my skin and love myself a hell of a lot more in 2025 than 2022. I hope through all the ********, you and Detrell found your way back to each other, and if not, accept that it was probably for the best and are amazing coparents. I hope your kids are happy and healthy and wanting for nothing in this scary world. I have faith that you'll be exactly where you should be. I'll make sure of it. I have 3 years to get my **** together. I'm holding back tears as i'm typing this .Okay let me go before I can't do it anymore 😅 I love you Marcya, and I'm so proud of you, no matter what happens 🙂 Oh yeah....Happy 30th Birthday PS, the tears fell. Shutup, stop laughing, you know we're emotional😭😂

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Well, Marcya. You did NOT get back with your kid’s father. You hated him for a long time, but bit by bit, you’re working on yall coparent relationship.

As far...

Utb aws !i!!n ardt,nge sa lhosc,o uoy ti hte nto etbs ho,csol ti dame ouy got gohruht. Teh no ta bra…sdo over uvye’o etak nbee gniagin hsit acrugeo a rouy roeuy’ ikogwrn ocnymap , year and slwoyl ot rfo wno. Het htat so pt,aettm ouy ’tcna yuor uyo uyo nmeor,ay i era cbinmgrea it wonk lo’yul saps , ti! rofm ouy ldaeif ritfs nwok it etmi but enxt urn.
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Adn ,ednrfi yruo idd sbet sa tptery ti btu , off wlel raey enecilroc on as you etlar saw a rfa. Ewnh erdnif she ot a caanitlotsre a laly efel adh yuo eakm way ****** dha elik. Adn lal imfyal she astl erh ot umpdje yuo aecm a adhe it ayre when. Ti ??!! tbu we elveieb 😂 iithfgng uoy anc ,it idd su. Ti taclalyu cakb rna. Ahtt yoteelcplm hnvtae’ were’ latedk iecsn akyo nda thwi 😌.
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Het seubcjt econtcend no uoy wthi a fo fwe drf,isne. Ti eylk , ftris was. Erftha ewer yuo tuo esy iknowgr 🤣😋 efni swa oruy sk’di lyke uyro ,lrgi hiwt isgenlef it *** hiewl. Uoy didtn’ uto cneoidfecn ot ewer bkca the osmenoe ihst but to for asy oyu uoy vgei aneony ganai , eilhw niophg ot eethr teg. Oyur mte hnet euitq the arn oyu texn day mhi adn llilateyr onti. ’mi ouy iingntkh nowk atwh. Rt’nwee dan gnilett nhcace man ?!!? og eivs,l iwth ruo to ttah swa we infe lal a etg ve’we taht mih hugotht. Becuaes of gatnniw fo ipobssyl etnw lkie it nay nd’twolu eomr lrneoha,tsipi uyo a shylapci yuo rtap he a ohhgutt sjtu oyu into. Ddi eh tbu. Vlebeei let ‍️🏾🤦♀ liek dan pdelay did ot hwo but ni iidnev heyt ttah i ti nsthig ew otu ldeltre irun tnimgi. Ttha llfe to saw ni tawh nhpaep dd’nit xeptce wiht ihm ovle uyo uyo but. Eebn 2302 eavh escni. E’tdon,s ougenh tg,aer hs’att tngmhiose him if noit vloe but ,orem to oyu too nsehgca dna lyla fi sctpeer ,oemr tbu ti it hneidspfir yako. ,mhi onit dha lyal styoml nar acslyiph uyo a nsice rtlhopasneii snice hvae. Osem u,pbms yaeh btdou, but no. Yoru omesm,tn emtsmon on adh some vewe’ dna enhidifp,sr erehw ometmsn soem uoy off tstneig moes tuoieqsend oot. Own, ’seh rsoenp ryou cebeom. Wy,a ttha is ton eh etsb ouyr tbu irfend. Ue’oyv eht of steb hte had es,bt not if oen. Eb veorfer fatrlgeu aleynertl woh slpya ahd lla oyu ti ,tuo mih lloyu’.
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From atsp, dreisebc iont o,wn rna ti i uyro fi oentrah asw dan it a uyo anc endirf ***********. Oiarsaht , cash was shti edfinr. Ttah veern tath rhe ahtt ees dleatk s,iada cpnici we iusse efart idd itwh we ocslho ew wo,n ubt ahd. Her ni 2204 uoy nra inot. Beecma our ebst ni layl adn ccidlk,e tiwh nrdife us ietdmeilyam evodm. Yteprt oryu rwee saw demar ernpasbaeli ifidprnehs ner,lalyext ti 😅 lyal. In g,insth eebiveld su us u,s eenv lhae ehs dehple adn tthuag ywa in a. Tbu to ohw eatwdn htat reeadeltspy on tiohgsmne rmatet toko come ldonutc’ from lcepa abkc yuo uyo. Ysaw llay pedtar. So ayaw oknw hwen eewr gl,on fead ndt’id ouy atht lwduo rfo tbiert nda. Hre aeyr, eyra swa a at this yuo uroy moalst piiccn oclhso frtea. Hrtae you adh htear a mllas thbo ot. Os taht we reew abeeusc itsll siedsm tohhug we erwe nad istll g,rayn neev ngigierv fdrispnieh. Too seh asw. Form eitm own emit llay tkla ot. Hvea uoy oyur nueadbsoir utb. Notw’ lalwo you ot clsoe sryuelfo get iagna. Okya and a’thst.
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Htoe…arn ngtih. Nyaorem aktl laly yrou no’td pron,es. Trhu lto su satl a yare esh. Olt oehwl a ikel. Hasaoirt that sflla niakd too iont bsejuct. Ni btu reh lylou’ dan ndot’ lylaer altk… ouy , waysla want h,tsnom llay eadktl evlo ot ahvt’ne.
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Alst tngih. Dihtr t’is cra a oyu es,y ogt ar!!!!c uyor. Abby t’si tgo dan erh hetiw 😂 vole ranerglw a uyo you. Rouy sah utb a endse ehs treha ill esh rwo,k. .
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Now…. Ni imgac solt 2024, fo eedbcmre ew. A rac seh lrlaye in abd was eylarl adncetic. Yiaflm eli erew ew it okebr adn tlolyta the otn ettsevdaad agonn. 5,202 adn daspse yma in teiaun oot of. Osmt yuo flee tuboa eth oen ttah bda. In omevd otg eb hse adn oehnwmgeirlv ot ti. No me rhe dan reom nhat neo mmo,ma orjdna ephled. Oygodeb unodra esh got we lal ymafli adn ot ot ubt ehr asw yas. Dnidt’ 😞 atht runfel,ynottua micga get.
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Oto in eewr’ lla abd otn odngi al,l. ’rewe rnikowg usesorevl no isltl. Hvae ndocfiten yruo meor sdya rae oyu tub ni ouy kn,si. Hay,pp isrcsi 13 now sno on tedyeiilnf eb yrou ruyo oyu dan a h,03t adh altehhy uor ifildem ’erwe adn nac rea esibggt ppo 🤦️♀‍🤣🏾 dkis ew ouhhtg. Dleestt sti’ in iandk. Be ees ti lefe of dsya i nvee wo,n loufyesr so hetrse’ ’tdno ro dprou osme yud’o fi ti. It out edam kssneadr ttah 2202 fo 😌🥹 ew rofm.
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3 in bkca resay eb l’li. At 43 😭.
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O,uy i macayr ✌🏾😘 evol.

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