A letter from Sep 18, 2022

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Right now, as of September 18, 2022, things aren't going so well... To start, You're back living with your mom and looking for work. Its hard, but you're doing all you can to keep your head up. You're single and still living with your children's father/ love of your life. To add insult to injury, you still sleep in the same bed. Things are mostly awkward and you guys argue more, but it could be worse. You have to better yourself mentally and physically before you can jump back into anything with anyone. Ultimately, you want him, but yall not there yet....maybe someday. You and your bestfriend aren't talking right now for something that you feel is dumb and trivial, but you realize that you're not the only one with strong feelings in this situation, and your feelings aren't the only ones that matter. Nonetheless, now is the time to put your mental first, with it being so fragile due to recent turn of events. You're so angry and disappointed with her because you thought that your friendship was better than this. You wanna make up, but you're so unsure and blind as to where this will go. Only time will tell. You applied for a school to do sonography, but ended up applying for radiology instead. It was either that or nothing, and you and your kids can't afford nothing...not anymore. The good thing about it is that you can cross-train in sonography and enroll in that class once you become certified in radiology. After all the hope and prayers, you get accepted and can finally see the sun through the stormy clouds. You're scared, but are also extremely excited for what's to come. The real challenge is yet to begin and you can't wait. failure doesn't scare you anymore. There's more going on, but I just wanted to recap the major stuff. I hope future me is happy and successful and loving the career I'm in. I hope I feel more confident and comfortable in my skin and love myself a hell of a lot more in 2025 than 2022. I hope through all the ********, you and Detrell found your way back to each other, and if not, accept that it was probably for the best and are amazing coparents. I hope your kids are happy and healthy and wanting for nothing in this scary world. I have faith that you'll be exactly where you should be. I'll make sure of it. I have 3 years to get my **** together. I'm holding back tears as i'm typing this .Okay let me go before I can't do it anymore 😅 I love you Marcya, and I'm so proud of you, no matter what happens 🙂 Oh yeah....Happy 30th Birthday PS, the tears fell. Shutup, stop laughing, you know we're emotional😭😂

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Well, Marcya. You did NOT get back with your kid’s father. You hated him for a long time, but bit by bit, you’re working on yall coparent relationship.

As far...

Sclooh, it ouy tno was guhothr steb cslooh, detgrn,a eamd it i!!!n sa yuo eth utb got. Uyore’ no earogcu kiowgnr ou’evy fro evro aosrb…d nnagigi eben aery ot eth llsowy yrou , iths amycnop ta and a tkea wno. Idealf !ti so ti i wkon hatt lyo’lu rae assp run tub yuor uoy ouy tfrsi yo,nemra ti yuo wkno form exnt ebmnagirc , tca’n uyo ea,tmptt tmei het.
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Stbe eolccreni etpryt sa no nda as but arlte it ryae was off wlle uoy oruy idd , arf enfd,ir a. You layl ****** eefl nailtctsareo wenh dha kaem dha to ayw a hes eikl nedirf a. Tals deah dan myfail ehs yaer a jmpued newh ti oyu reh meca all ot. ?!!? su tihgginf uyo ,it 😂 it but lvbeeie can ddi ew. Yluacalt ti acbk arn. Rwe’e ha’etnv wtih escni tath dktlea dan lltmpoeecy ykao 😌.
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No hte uoy twhi wef cutesjb nfsedi,r a fo ccotednne. Eylk fstir ti asw ,. Otu wkingro reftha yoru 😋🤣 you thiw iskd’ geilenfs i,glr ti heliw sey wree oyru was inef *** kyle. To oyu orf tub eth encocnifed ooseenm ’tddin ihlwe poignh teg tuo erwe uyo to kcab say heetr evig ot , hist uoy annyoe aaign. Nra ady oyru txne ireltyall ouy eth onit teiqu dna hmi hten tem. Nkwo ntngikhi wtah ouy ’mi. Ee’tnwr a ahtt nma all s,leiv whit saw get guthoth htta ew !!?? hmi go to tegitln oru eachcn e’wev ifen dan. You uoy of of yna csiyaphl ti he a aihltoinrp,se uyo usjt a kile utoghht beseacu ptra itno bsoilpys rmoe wnd’uotl tenw agntinw. He did tub. Out i in ehyt nad we imtgni laydep ilvbeee ivndei uirn hgntsi but it hatt delretl idd how tle keli 🏾️🤦♀‍ to. But atht ahpnep ni lveo mih flel twah ddti’n etcexp uoy to oyu hwit was. 3022 aevh ebne nsiec. Imh ntio nda peidfrihns fi yuo it ubt er,mo tbu uoengh lyal tgre,a yoak ond’t,se that’s ot olev mroe, fi oto nigteohsm it cseetrp cgsneha. Lystmo mh,i hda uoy sneic tino secni haev nra a ycalihsp tpnhiliseroa ally. Mose ayeh b,pums ,boudt no but. Off meos nda emnsmto oot stteign eosm ew’ve oueendtisq yuor mnemtos, pdhrfine,si you rhewe on emso smtonem dha. Yuor on,w esh’ eocbme esporn. Si etsb rfdnie ton ayw, htat he yruo but. Teh t,seb fo ’uyevo eon if ont teh sbet dah. Oyu dha spyla owh eb u,to frerveo ’ulylo ti aeltrylne him lal luegtrfa.
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Neridf nac rfmo ran i yoru pts,a fi haeront swa *********** it dan a uoy ti ,wno otin eedbrsic. Idnerf this was tiahsrao chsa ,. Evren icncpi sa,dia taht ew oscolh iessu wno, ubt whit lkdeta we rhe ahd ese ferta idd ttha hatt ew. You 2042 toin in rna ehr. Infdre deleatmimyi with ruo in su lecikdc, dan beecam vdome etsb ylal. 😅 drmae eyttrp fprnedihis apnleisreba reew ti your layl saw tnrlxyele,a. Edlhpe autght su adn heal eievdbel ywa vene ni hes su a ,nsgith in ,us. Rofm ouy sdleeperyat eclpa bcka to on otko who htat enosihmgt tonc’udl you cmoe ubt marett dawnte. Layl dartpe syaw. Ewhn l,ngo olduw uoy rtibte tath onwk wree so iddn’t nad edfa orf aywa. Lohcso icncip r,eya hre ta rteaf yare alstom a htis asw uory oyu. Dah rheta ouy othb earht ot allsm a. Siemsd ttah gthhou we nad tills rewe ,ygnar we eesaubc ewer os ltsli niesfhpdri nvee evriingg. Esh was too. Ktla to teim won layl eitm mfro. Avhe but yruo siruboeand oyu. Oyu n’wot elsoryuf awllo gaian to elcso teg. Ykao nad ’sttha.
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Threa…on tghin. Llya ’tdno yruo ,repsno talk mnrayoe. Otl she lsta a su urht raey. Ilke a lot owleh. Oot hoitsara noit ahtt ecutsjb lafls iankd. Oyu vleo dektal llya , t…lak h’navet and reh dton’ slaayw want tbu homsn,t lyoul’ ot laeylr ni.
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Gniht aslt. You !!!a!rc rac s’ti otg yuro ,sye thidr a. Ogt wangrelr uyo a and erh uyo ewith 😂 oelv ybba s’it. Esh tbu sah wkor, a ill htera sened hes ryou. .
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Onw…. In gamic bdcmeeer 20,24 fo tsol we. A bda laelry ni she erylal swa dneccait cra. Lttlaoy nonga lei it lyifam ew ton het wree adn ekorb vteaeddast. 25,02 adn atunie of in sadeps may oto. Taht mtos abd the you aobtu neo lfee. Eb mvoed ehowmnlgrvei nda ti esh tgo ot in. Thna arojnd reh dan eheldp on eorm om,mma em noe. Say ew gto swa she dgoboye and andour to ehr ot ubt lal flyiam. Get d’tnid that mciga 😞 yn,otutunflear.
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Ewe’r ngoid ont dab ni oto lla l,la. Vsesuorle rkgnwio e’ewr on tlsli. But yads heva yuro are ni cndnetiof ouy i,ksn yuo rome. Kids ruoy ew nca hda ehyahlt fildyinete csriis ruo dna be mdilfei ruoy own eewr’ sno pop ,apyhp on dan a rae 31 ibggest ‍♀🏾️🤣🤦 0,3th ghtuho oyu. Ts’i seledtt ni knadi. O’uyd it yasd os slfreouy fo be it see o’ntd eevn or flee sreh’te if i rpuod ow,n omes. Daem rfmo fo otu 2022 🥹😌 ew it snradesk atht.
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’lli in 3 kacb esary be. 34 😭 ta.
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Ouy, raamcy ✌😘🏾 i vole.

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