A letter from Sep 18, 2022

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Right now, as of September 18, 2022, things aren't going so well... To start, You're back living with your mom and looking for work. Its hard, but you're doing all you can to keep your head up. You're single and still living with your children's father/ love of your life. To add insult to injury, you still sleep in the same bed. Things are mostly awkward and you guys argue more, but it could be worse. You have to better yourself mentally and physically before you can jump back into anything with anyone. Ultimately, you want him, but yall not there yet....maybe someday. You and your bestfriend aren't talking right now for something that you feel is dumb and trivial, but you realize that you're not the only one with strong feelings in this situation, and your feelings aren't the only ones that matter. Nonetheless, now is the time to put your mental first, with it being so fragile due to recent turn of events. You're so angry and disappointed with her because you thought that your friendship was better than this. You wanna make up, but you're so unsure and blind as to where this will go. Only time will tell. You applied for a school to do sonography, but ended up applying for radiology instead. It was either that or nothing, and you and your kids can't afford nothing...not anymore. The good thing about it is that you can cross-train in sonography and enroll in that class once you become certified in radiology. After all the hope and prayers, you get accepted and can finally see the sun through the stormy clouds. You're scared, but are also extremely excited for what's to come. The real challenge is yet to begin and you can't wait. failure doesn't scare you anymore. There's more going on, but I just wanted to recap the major stuff. I hope future me is happy and successful and loving the career I'm in. I hope I feel more confident and comfortable in my skin and love myself a hell of a lot more in 2025 than 2022. I hope through all the ********, you and Detrell found your way back to each other, and if not, accept that it was probably for the best and are amazing coparents. I hope your kids are happy and healthy and wanting for nothing in this scary world. I have faith that you'll be exactly where you should be. I'll make sure of it. I have 3 years to get my **** together. I'm holding back tears as i'm typing this .Okay let me go before I can't do it anymore 😅 I love you Marcya, and I'm so proud of you, no matter what happens 🙂 Oh yeah....Happy 30th Birthday PS, the tears fell. Shutup, stop laughing, you know we're emotional😭😂

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Well, Marcya. You did NOT get back with your kid’s father. You hated him for a long time, but bit by bit, you’re working on yall coparent relationship.

As far...

Nto ,losoch ughtorh gto ti aws edma ge,atrnd best ubt ti eth n!!!i sa you you lhscoo,. Ruyo a and etak at hits eyra rof nwo da…srbo uyer’o no augcreo sywlol roev het yv’ueo , oriwkgn pncamyo ebne nggiani to. Het t!i thta yllo’u tnxe knwo ouy pass , uroy onwk are uyo uyo itme from bngcmraie i tatmpte, so ubt ti it t’cna rnu defail siftr ouy oy,nmera.
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Lreencoic , sa alert oyru sa uoy ebts and idd off afr ryea a tbu neidf,r elwl yrtpte it no was. A had ahd ayw eikl rdnfie a lefe raettcoilasn ayll to hwne you ekma ****** seh. Meac adn hre yfamli hwne tsla she edha to a ouy ti arye pudjme all. We 😂 ielbeev ti, ubt ignfghit ??!! ti acn us ouy ddi. Kacb it atcullay rna. Ltekda anht’ve ayko nscei atht ecltpmoyle 😌 dan ’weer with.
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Bctjuse a itwh no eht efw uoy ontdnccee edi,sfnr of. , it irtfs klye aws. Uot ilhew dksi’ 🤣😋 erwe *** uyor kely nkrwigo rigl, was esy sgneielf yuo wiht ahertf uryo efin it. Didtn’ geiv the tbu ot out ouy say rwee ofr gnaai cbka , eonany get ot ofnccdniee ehetr lwhie to uoy ouy this oesmnoe opgnhi. Uyo and ruyo hmi the mte hnte qeuti xetn ady nra toni leiarltly. I’m wonk ouy nitgkinh what. Get man oru ete’rnw ifen was tlegnti ihtw a hatt uohtght ?!?! ivs,le go lal tath we and ’weve hmi acecnh ot. Mreo a lodt’wnu niot ti netw a twnaign yuo cuebesa iahlosetni,pr you httgohu kiel you schylipa of ayn fo eh tapr bsosliyp ustj. Did utb eh. To 🤦️♀🏾‍ ltdleer i intgim rniu evndii lte adn we tuo ilek tub htta ti eeelbiv tyeh ylpaed nigtsh how in idd. Apephn swa tceepx evol iwht you to taht t’ndid imh in fell tbu whta you. 2320 eenb cisne evah. Oyka you seecptr lvoe and epiihnfrds ti tion tbu eod’tsn, mro,e trgea, llay to ti hugoen at’hts if mhi ,oemr nietosmhg acenhsg oot if but. Uyo hm,i a llay tnoi iscne isecn ran scipylah sahiripltnoe adh aevh stymlo. Mose yhea utb no m,sbpu bodt,u. Qntueoised stniteg ensomtm montsme off ierd,nipsfh omes hrwee mose nad adh oyu on too emso evwe’ s,mnmtoe uyor. Oecbem eh’s psnore uoyr wn,o. Ebst si utb wya, not htat he irfnde uroy. Hte neo fo nto fi uevy’o etbs, eth tbes dha. ’uloyl it be tfarelug ihm aeltnlery owh vrefero yplas t,uo dha uyo all.
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Can mfro fi yuor i dan ifdern *********** dcsebrei oyu arn rahoent it swa ti a w,no tion sap,t. Asch isaathro tsih nidefr , saw. Reaft ubt did we choslo see nveer taht hre ew picicn latedk ihwt atth dha ew aidsa, esuis ahtt o,wn. Ehr iton ouy ni 0242 anr. Irenfd yilideamtem ni kl,cdiec su yall emdvo tiwh oru macebe steb dan. Frihpisden baenrsiaepl were layl el,yeralxtn it maedr 😅 pttyre wsa oury. ,su i,nthsg ugahtt bvieedel us ni dna ehs ahel a wya us eenv in ehdepl. Okot tub you no ot cbak orfm ohw eclap atetmr atth igtesmonh lepdearstey ewntad you on’tdluc cemo. Wasy ylal ardetp. Ewer ofr hnew n,glo eadf nowk dulow nitd’d so ayaw oyu dna trteib htat. Eayr, was ouy ryuo isht atoslm tarfe a reh eyra colhso picnic at. Atreh bhto rhtea hda you ot mlasl a. Ewer nyarg, enigvgir nda we sidems still we sirhnpdfei ilstl eerw os aubeces tath ohhgtu eevn. Hse was too. Rmfo talk emit to itme onw alyl. Uoyr ehva uaobdirsne uyo utb. To nagia get lreyofus uyo ow’tn oallw olcse. Adn akyo tasht’.
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Ihntg rta…ohen. Nt’od ylal ltak romyaen rouy e,ronsp. A olt stla su hrut eyar esh. Lot woleh a ilek. Kinda tino hatt butjcse sllaf oot rsoitaha. Aktl… awtn but elkdta vleo to in nda wlaays you nh’aevt ,mhnost ntd’o , ehr lyla ’lyolu allyer.
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Alst ghitn. Oyru !c!!ar! a ithrd uoy ogt ,yse car st’i. ’sit and hre oevl yuo relrwang a ogt you htiwe ybba 😂. A tub nesde seh ehs lil sah thaer rk,ow ruoy. .
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Now…. Tsol fo ni 0,224 rbdmecee ew migca. Laerly dab ni she a cra ryelal diaetccn wsa. Eli eht we orkeb tno it erew daesatdvte lyotlat lyfami nonag dna. Of eainut ni 0522, yma espdas oot dna. Stmo eon ouy uabot atht het abd feel. Hse ni adn gto ti vodem nhwervioglem ot be. Drnaoj athn em maom,m nad her no oen eelhpd emor. Utb got dgbyoeo esh yas ot rnaudo erh aws miylaf nda lal to ew. Iagmc ddnit’ 😞 tge taht a,futtnluoyren.
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Lla dgnoi ni ’were bad oot all, tno. On ionkgrw llsit weer’ osuesrlve. Ouy rae ruoy uyo nceftiond rmoe ni s,nki ydas ubt vaeh. No ,paphy rae deliimf rsiics dha ,t03h uyro a sno dan 31 our wno you sdik thoghu ew ryuo er’we tleyhah eb opp dieftyinel tiesgbg nad cna ♀‍🤣🏾🤦️. Adkni s’it etldset ni. See so ti yasd wn,o ro mose yuod’ oefysulr i nvee orpdu of be if feel ot’dn sehrte’ ti. Ti 2022 fo htta emda ew 🥹😌 ormf otu rnskaesd.
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Syare cbka 3 be ll’i in. At 34 😭.
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Cmyara ouy, 😘🏾✌ i lvoe.

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