A letter from Sep 13, 2022

Dear FutureMe, I have been wrestling with this feeling of an empty pit in my stomach if someone I liked never sent that one text where they just confessed their love for me - just kidding, even if that text is as simple as "I enjoyed our date, can we do this again?". I am going to turn 26 soon but whenever I feel this way, it's like I am 16 again waiting for the boy of my dreams to text or call me back enthusiastically, as though his life depended on it and I was his only salvation. But, alas, that never happened - or maybe just a few times, when the person in question was my actual steady long-term boyfriend, or an annoying dude who would not get the hint. Either way, here I am, going through the same things I went through a decade back and it sucks. It sucks to be single again and survive in this day and age (with the dating culture that exists today). Sure, I am not blameless - I have done my fair share of ghosting or responding with the least enthusiasm - and that's what terrifies me. Because when I did that, I was just not into that person as much as they thought I was - and maybe, this one person who is keeping me hanging is also not really into me. That is most likely the explanation for the slow texting despite the great date - and I have always believed in walking in the light of the truth. It is never fun to be in the shoes of the person being rejected. But maybe it is not even personal - it is just how they assessed me during the two hours of their life they spent with me. It might not be fair, for sure (their assessment) but is life always fair? The answer to that is a resounding "NO". Like every other single person, I need to suck it up and move ahead. If you love (or like) someone, you let them go (and only text who they actually are attracted to) (ouch!) :D Hope your love life is much better than this, Future-me.