A letter from Sep 11, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Whas popping bruv. You an adult now ay.. don't know if ur happy abt that or not but **** it ya gotta embrace it. Idk if u remember ur 14yr old self well, cuz you'll still be forgetful lol. I mean, i don't remember how I used to be 3 months ago so imagine u remembering 4 yrs ago. Well, ur 14yr old self was ******* terrible. Like hell nah she ain't happy one bit. In fact, for me rn, I'm in the worst, lowest point in my life. Yee it's 11th September 2022.. and it's awful bro. Like since 2022 started everything been awful.. and i ain't gonna blame nobody cuz it's my fault. I made it worse for me. And hell i might be able to make it better.. but idk how better bro. Remember ur little dreams? Pursuing genetic engineering, earning a lotta ******* money then starting ur own pharmaceutical, and ur own company.. where u like research and build stuff.. like crazy ***** bro.. from agriculture to medicine.. technology.. genetic advancement in humans and even animals.. healthcare.. and like so much ****. And you'd be like.. earning ********* of money.. parents hella happy.. and u start organizations and ****.. like for mental health.. environment.. and animals and ****.. like you'd wanna do as much possible as u cud.. and who knows even start researching for an adaptable life on Mars and **** bro.. that'd be ******* sick. Bro.. these dreams been there since like 7th or 8th grade man.. but rn.. all these dreams just shattered.. cuz self-doubt knocked in. Why? Cuz i ain't the same anymore.. look.. ik i always been lazy as hell.. i mean I'm sure ur still a lazy ****.. i used to procrastinate dang much and i still do.. but i used to get work done before.. like idc how much work it is and how much time i wasted.. i will, without a doubt finish it just in time. That used to be me, and i had crazy confidence in myself.. cuz I'd know.. whatever happens.. I'll finish my **** work.. but now.. i ain't do that no more. I don't finish my work on time anymore bro.. i don't even study anymore bro.. nah like.. i would hardly ever study before too.. but when i did study, I'd learn **** with ease like it's nothing.. i mean.. hell bro.. I'd study everything the night before exams and magically get 75/80 above **** and I'd be overconfident cuz of that. Now.. well.. i can't say ****.. cuz the last exam we had.. and honestly almost every exam we have.. i never study. Like i genuinely just don't study.. so what should I expect? I remember i studied a singular chapter of math out of 11 chapters.. so shud i expect 75 above with that? I got ******* ******* 45.. idk man.. i still enjoy studying but idk why i can't study continuously like before.. smth wrong w/me.. and hell that jealousy.. i been tryna suppress it but it ain't working.. everybody be happy.. everybody be living their life.. spending **** and enjoying.. everybody be doing some nice hobby.. everybody active and doing productive **** in their life.. and me.. i cry bro.. thas all.. i don't do nothing no more. And idk anymore what i can do.. what my capabilities are.. what's my capacity .. if i can reach those dreams i told u.. idk how u are now.. like wut.. it's 2025.. ain't that far away but **** makes a lotta difference.. bro.. i hope u doing good.. nah.. i hope u doing amazing bro.. i hope ur at the best of ur life.. i hope u enjoying and ****.. i hope u happy.. and i hope everyone around u happy.. i hope mom and dad kinda rich.. i hope u doing what u always dreamt of.. i hope u popular.. i hope u a genius ***.. i hope u showing off ur talent.. hope ur hella skilled.. and ye.. hope all of that.. i hope ur life is the exact opposite of mine rn.. and um.. if it's not.. if it's still the same.. as now.. or even worse.. then um.. dying has never been easier bro.. u can just.. **** urself.. becuz um.. well.. uk.. u can't expect to earn a lotta money now and keep mom and dad happy.. u can't do **** for them so better just die.. anyway.. I'm hoping that's not the case in the future.. there ain't even much im talking abt it's straight up ******* simple but ye.. i don't rlly got many precious memories to share to u.. main ones will always be the ones where u have ur head lied down on the class bench.. just closed ur eyes and absorbing the noise of the entire classroom.. and ones with mom and dad ofc.. all the heated debates u have.. where u eventually end up losing with them.. and all the laughs.. giggles.. sad *****.. happy *****.. everything.. Uk.. i might've been depressed.. and maybe even now.. i can't tell obviously.. and i ain't diagnosing myself without a literal medically certified *** doctor. So um.. who knows.. but point is.. life for me rn.. it sucks like hell.. I'm tryna make it better but God is kinda against me i feel.. but I'm hoping man.. if I've had such **** teenage life.. then my adulthood has to be golden.. cuz when else have i had the gud days? The gud days gotta come man.. I've seen too many bad days.. ight. So um.. ye.. u do u.. keep up the ****.. keep chilling keep vibing.. forget ur **** past.. it was sad ****.. but hopefully for u ***** different.. and better.. na, best. Yee. God got our backs man.. gotta keep doing our ****. Ye.. idk how to end this.. good luck with life.