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Dear FutureMe,
Hello friend. These past few weeks haven't been great, let's be honest. So maybe coming onto here to rant a bit will make us feel better. So, we made it. Graduated from junior high, now we step into a whole new world called highschool. I wasn't expecting to make 20 new friends right away, but I would've at least hoped to feel wanted. As I said, not the best first weeks entering a new school. Even familiar faces don't seem to want to say hi anymore. Making new friends is always difficult, but we managed to do it. Except, once the bell rang, we became strangers again. Scrambling all over the school just to find a group to sit and eat lunch with. Is this really going to be what it's like for the rest of the year? Maybe I'll manage... but I feel like I won't. And that's why I'm here today, to ask you.
Are you alive? Not just living. Alive. Have you found your place in this world. Have you found a group that accepts you and doesn't shove you off to the side. A group where you don't have to walk on the grass when they're on the pavement. A group where you can laugh in conversation with them.
It's pretty hard right now man. I don't feel like I belong. I don't have anyone anymore. I f'ed up my past friendships, and my best friend isn't even in the same school as me. Will we find a way? Look,
It's ok if you have to eat lunch alone, it's just for 30 minutes. But promise me something. I don't want to feel lonely like this ever again. So I hope that once you receive this you've already found some people, or someone. And be in a place where you don't have to worry about stupid things, like finding a group to eat lunch with. I hate being lonely like this, so be alive when you get this. Ok?
You'll already be in your senior year once this letter gets to you. I hope you still use the same email. But either way, I want to be alive. Usually, you'd always make sure to reply to these letters. So, I expect nothing less. If you didn't respond, I assume you'd be dead. Or maybe forgot about this email address. I don't know what it'll be like for you, over the next three years. But just know that if you feel like you never had anyone. You had me.
are you alive yet?
-e
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