A letter from Sep 10, 2022

Time Travelled — over 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Today I promised na I'll go into diet na because I've been overeating for almost a month and I feel disgusted with my body. Feel ko antaba taba ko and ugly looking. I feel so low. And super bilis ko maglash out. Kanina sumasagot ako kay mama kel, I didn't meant to, I also don't have any idea why I did that. I was acting like a ***** and I regret it. Tomorrow I won't eat. Sana lang magawa ko talaga. I will try my best to not eat for atleast a day(hopefully I'll last three days) I'm sure magcr-crave nanaman ako and magugutom, but I'll really try my hardest. Kanina din, yung nagpupursue sakin na muslim hinihingi number ko and I rejected him saying na I can't and friends lang maooffer ko. I felt bad. I know I did that cause 1.) I don't like him, 2.) My self esteem tells me I'm not worth it 3.)I am sure he'll get tired and disappointed with me sooner or later. Pasimula na din pala classes ko. And I don't have a good impression with my classmates. I don't like sarah's energy. Maybe because a part of me wants to be at the top? And I kinda don't like how she acts like she has the most authority while telling us to be quick and responsive cause she's a very busy person even tho no one asked her to act as the leader. But I really hope na maging maayos ang college life ko. Today is really not my best day but I hope na sana gumanda as days pass by. Anyway, really hoping na I do well in acads. Really looking out for that medal y'know? The competition is tough but I'm ready to give my hardest and bestest.

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