A letter from Sep 05, 2022

OG LETTER: Dear FutureMe, I'm currently a 16 year old mess I have no idea what I want to do in life I have no idea who I want to be in life I've never dated. I've never had my first kiss. I've never had a job. I feel like I've never done anything. How have I lived 16 years on this planet and done nothing. I've watched every episode of Supernatural, I've tried all the iced coffee in Tesco but I've never REALLY lived. I want to live not just exist. I feel so lacking in everything. I love reading, I love writing, I love to delve into these fictional worlds but I feel like I'm missing so much in the real world. I hope you, future me, are living and feeling better than me. I love you no matter what. ----------------- Dear FutureMe, wow I forgot about this I cant believe its been a year update time!! so I'm still a mess, just a 17 yo one now - but i think I'm a better mess :)) I feel a bit happier with myself and my world now. It's kind of the opposite now, I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, its hard to narrow them down. I'm doing a gap year next year, I can't wait. I think working will be tough but I'm excited to leave the work at work and come home and not have to worry about homework and things like that. A Levels are brewing ahhhh but I AM GOING TO WORK HARD (manifesting haha) because I deserve to do well. Still never dated. Still never been kissed. I am scared I'm missing out. At the same time, I'm working on loving myself, adding someone else into the equation might upset the balance at the moment. Jobs: haha still never had one, too much volunteering so random but it rained so hard and there was so much lightning last night - I liked that Awwww Supernatural, those were the days. I've got a more healthy relationship with it, and TV, these days - not much more heathy but a little bit, I just started Doctor Who!!! Iced coffee is still my drug of choice, I'm sure it will be in 5 years as well. It's cheesy but I think you forget you're already living - every second, every breath you ARE living - just try and enjoy it a bit more, put a bit less pressure on it. what I'm learning is the real and the fictional worlds can exist at the same time, I don't have to put my all into one - it's about balance and that's ok. Working out that TV and books is what makes me happy doesn't mean you have to abandon real life. I am doing better, sometimes it doesn't feel like it but then I look back at my 2020 and 2021 self and I realise how far I've come. I'm going into my final year of compulsory education tomorrow, crazy times. and then the fun/work begins :))) I still love you, you idiot, love yourself a bit more <3