A letter from Aug 31, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Relate kaayo ko sa lyrics nga "what is life to are for me when I grow old?" I feel so disappointed, helpless, ug depressed 😭 Sakit kaayo sa buot ug hunahunaon mura ko ug gi priso diria... kanang mismo imong igsoon Kuya dili ka pa trabahuon kay gusto niya magbantay lang kos iyang mga anak! 😤 Kay dili pwd mawad-ag trabaho ang isa nila sa iya asawa. And what about me?! I'm a college graduate! I'm not bragging it pero nalipay lang pod ko nakahuman ko ug skwela. I just graduated a week ago... Nangandoy ko maka trabaho ug nindot para makatabang nila Mama ug Papa 🥺 Growing up, wala koy laing gina buhat, gina huna² kundi mag tarong skwela para makahuman tapos eng-ani lang diay 🥺 They are paying me 4,500 pesos a month, free food etc. Pero ni skwela lang ba ko para ani? I'm not underestimating this job. Pero dili na ba pwede mangandoy ug mas dako pa na sweldo? Naghago ko sauna, dugay matug tungods assignments, projects, thesis. Is it even worth it? I love being with Princes, Prince, ug Eon. Palangga naku ako mga pag-umangkon (6) ug happy ko na I saw them growing up. Looking back, I didn't even get to enjoy my teenage years... Wala ko kasuway ug lingaw² ug laag² 'coz aside from wala koy kwarta kay pobre ra man, magbantay ko sa akong mga pag-umangkon... Or naay mga sugo. Ang 3 ka bata niya nakaagi ko ug bantay nila tanan. I was in high school then and I'm not blaming them even my brother. But now I'm 23, I still don't get to enjoy my freedom?! I don't even get to choose the work I want? Unfair kaayo! Unfair kaayo! 😭 I have so many dreams para nila Mama ug Papa pero karun nag-hinay² na sila ug kahugno 😭 Wana ko kahibaw unsa akong buhaton. Wana ko kasabot! I feel like I don't have a place in this world to begin with. Sakit kaayo sa dughan pamalandungon 💔 Lord, ani ra lang ba jud ko taman? 😭 Can anyone save me? Will there even be anyone? I don't know... I really don't know. Please save me, Lord :(