A letter from August 20th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Dear Lily, Remember me? Yes, that same annoying cute girl with two pigtails looking way too smallish for your eyes to significantly look at. Just a mere passerby walking into the paths which was prohibited for me. A stranger who gracefully resided in your inside layers until it reached your heart but before I could, my petals fall or you can say I couldn’t identify your fragrance anymore You smelt like the Ray of happiness and purity as I had once named you Lily even though you are a boy. A boy with deep brown hazel eyes. I still remember your scrunched up nose and your littlest pout decorating your lips saying " Lily is a girl's nickname" I swear the day I had laughed tarnishing all my boundaries which were still there but I couldn't see it. I was blinded by your softness radiating from your soul and protecting charms being read by your unmoved lips which apparently shaped like a cupid. The day we first met, your sweat filled nose was so dedicated that you were pretty nervous to start a conversation and your skin filled with dirt indicating you were busy with some of your work and I barged in shattering your privacy like always. "Can I drop you somewhere?" I said. The sentence which turned my whole world upside down without my acknowledgement the person for whom my desire increases in the delicate way and in a different way, A pathway in which my car never drove, my feet never took me, a painting which my fingers dreamed but never could paint, but the colours are the same as if they were taken from my dream. my eyes’ favourite scenery those monolid and double eyelid which were engrossed in taking in all my intentions if i were a safe option for a drive to go home with, which i nonchalantly guessed, i kept looking at you, at a guy with whom my limits of intimacy ends and my adoration starts with destruction can be so beautiful my heart never knew and never wanted.why these eyes of mine never get enough of staring at him? I asked myself. He giggled looking down as my heart pricked its speed and felt my pains are colliding inside, slowly going to a destination of vanishing. When your eyes fell on me as I hid myself in the real me. "Uh sure" you said You were repairing your broken car, probably not more broken than me. For once in life I wanted to hide all my impurities and imperfections just for you to look at me as a whole. I was not ready yet to show how much darkness I ignited but the question was why was your scenery making an appearance in my finished story book? Love Violet ( Remember Lily?)