A letter from Aug 19, 2022

Dear FutureMe, I'm the lowest I've been in a while. I started a diet to lose a few pounds because I feel absolutely ****** about myself and my body. I often feel like he's not the one for me but I want it to work out so we're working on that. He's way too busy and doesn't have a lot of emotional capacity and makes everything about himself. But he's nice. And kind. I feel like I'm being discriminated against at my job due to my gender. I didn't get a raise that I was supposed to and a man who works way less than I do got it. They'll try and convince me I don't deserve it but I'm pretty sure I do so let's hope that happens lol. I don't want to be fake positive anymore, I'll be honest I'm losing hope and my sanity just a little by little every day. Oh I'm hoping to dye my hair pink/brown so that's something to look forward to. I hope I survive, I hope I get out of this country and I hope I find peace. Enough about me, I hope you're doing great and are alive. I hope your ADHD is under control and that you're out of this country. I love you, I look up to you already and I think given the circumstances you might be doing fine. You got a lot of trauma and a lot of unfulfilled dreams and wishes from your childhood and I hope you get to be a kid again. Go easy on yourself ok? I'm taking care of parents as much as I can so you don't have any/much regrets. They love me and they haven't complained in a long time. I'll write more soon too my mind is all over the place. Love you!