Dear FutureMe, hi arina i am very surprised that you are reading this.. you were able to receive this. i hope you are happier now, it is august right now, august makes me feel comfortable but scared. i felt comfortable earlier in gavins arms. my first real boyfriend, other than kai. i don't think i ever will forget kai. you know, in the future i will probably regret making this a sad letter, but that's how i feel right now, 11;18 pm august 16th year 2022. I feel alone, i feel unvalued, i feel used, i feel misunderstood, and i feel mute, like i cannot speak what i feel, i dont think anyone will ever know this agony that i feel, maybe it won't be important when i read this next, but i still feel it...? i still have to go through it you know? i wish i could put my pain into words so someone can understand, but i can't, my only hope is God, i sometimes lay in bed and i could physically feel my own heart aching, and all i can do and lay there silently hoping God is with me and feels a little bit of sorrow with me i guess, i don't know why, knowing someone knows wont help anything but it comforts. some nights i feel like no one needs me. the nights everyone together forgets to text me, as if on purpose. i hope you have someone that loves you, i hope you love your self in 3 years, and i hope you don't laugh at this, i hope you remember the stress of this year how alone you felt bc no one really cared rn so i hope u care to at least remember, that helps that comforts me, knowing i have myself to hold on to. love arina,