A letter from Aug 15, 2022

Dear Future Sunny (or whatever name you use now lol), How is life going? I downloaded opentoonz today and made a little head turn test animation. I've never done it before, it was fun though! I think i like beau, or at least I want to kiss him. He's pretty and funny but the more I hear about him from other friends the more he seems like he's not a great person. Nate also likes me and I would maybe try out dating him but I feel like maybe we should stay friends. (also sploopa from parker's server told me he likes him which I completely forgot lol) Aside from all of the boy drama I'm a little worried for the future. All of my friends are seniors and I'm in junior year. I go through like. Depressive episodes I guess trying to mourn over it. I'm scared of letting go of my friends because it feels like I didn't have enough time. I don't like the idea of us all leaving and growing up. I don't feel grown up. I feel like. I mean i am 15. I think i was put into everything too young. I feel envious of everyone because their parents seem like they try to push them out into the real word but mine only wanted to hurt me. It's all very hard. At the same time it's like, I'm living for the first time yk. I'm also both euphoric and dysphoric a lot. It's like my life is in a constant swing. (I really hope I don't have bipolar like mom lol that would suck) I still need trans tape and an stp but I bought a ton of boys clothes over the summer and it's like honestly a vibe. I love it. I joined the swim team and im learning how to skateboard. I'm trying to mend all of my relationships and grow closer to people and it feels like I'm patching up myself in ways I've never done before. It's a little cathartic and a little scary to tread into new territory like that. Im also going to be vice president of GSA this year. As for you, what did you do? is your living place decorated the way you want? Did you get the hormones and the top surgery? Did you get the partner? Have you lived in the way you want? Did you get a job in animation finally or did you decide to go with studying marine biology first? Do you still swim and skate? How good are you at it now? Are you still in contact with lexi, beau, Parker, jacobie, Leilani, nate etc? Did it hurt to let them go if you didn't? Best of wishes in the future bruh. I hope you're happy! I hope the world is in a better place? PS if you haven't you should try out musical theatre again I've had dreams of doing it but in a tenor/baritone voice recently I'm rooting for you :] -Sunny, 8/14/22