A letter from Aug 12, 2022

Dear FutureMe, i hate myself. i hate everything. everything. every ******* thing right now. i hope you dont. i really do. that being said i dont know if youll even be alive still. i just know i dont have many big dreams, just ones that may seem mundane to others. i want to be able to like myself, love myself. i want to live without worry and fear all the ******* time. i hope you get that helped, the overthinking and anxiety. you should give zero *****. everybody else sucks. why should you care what they think? in 3 years youll be 19. itll be your half birthday in a few days too. i hope you had a fun time at college and didnt get ****** over, that would really suck considering how secondary school went. i wonder if youll have any idea what you want to do when your older by then? right now i have no idea- maybe work in a cute cafe or bookshop- or even better- a cat cafe! i hope you are able to romanticise your life when your reading this. make up for all the depressing **** during the 'best time of your life'. how much do you cry? i cry a lot at the minute. when im angry, when im happy, obviously when im sad, when im not even feeling anything just numb. do you have any addictions? lol im asking cuz i know youre gonna try **** haha. have you cut off your family? are you still friends with AM? any serious relationships? was i right? am i a relationships person? im not expecting you to be a **** cuz ik i hate my body but body count;)? are you friends with NH still? i hope you are. are you hating summer as much as i am right now? i hope you still love christmas. bro i stg if the queens still ******* alive- so where you living? i hope you and her moved in together and got our cute lil flat dreams. a big kitchen, nice big windows, hopefully in every room, a balcony, not one of those ugly tower blocks, plants and green everywhere, cats- we cant forget them- how many do you have? hows luna? oooh a fireplace? one of her dreams that is, a woods nearby or a park or something, the old lady two doors down who bakes you things, a coffee shop nearby that you religiously go to, a standalone shower;) is rain still your favourite weather? what have you done with your hair i want to know! any tattoos? favourite song? mines remember when or *** drugs etc i cant decide. favourite book? i dont think i have one. movie? series? young royals maybe. ooooh wait how is stranger things 5? did byler happen? current aesthetic? any current obsessions? done anything thrilling? have you caved and watched any marvel? or been forced to by ******** as thats more likely. are you still a harry potter fan (you better be)? worst drunk experience? have you wildly changed your mind and are at uni? shifted? biggest secret? do you still watch any youtubers? how are the og ones now? max wanted me to put him on here so here it is. did things get better? or worse? and how are they now? well see ya then (or not if i die LOL) -milkie