A letter from Aug 12, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Dear future self, it is currently August. 11, 2022 (the second day of my freshman year, and johnny’s birthday) and I am not feeling so good. I don’t really know why. I think it’s because I expected more, for it to be more exciting, more adventure, but its not. It's basically middle school with more buildings and people. When it comes to getting around said buildings I am completely lost. While it is still the second day, and I have plenty of time to figure things out, my current situation is still rather stressful. I’m not making any friends, it does not look like I'm going to any time soon, and my current/old friends are... different. Different from Daylenis, different from Shayla, Lareenesia and of course, Valeria. I am trying to “adjust” and “roll with the punches” but I feel like I'm doing that incorrectly. However, I am going to try to focus on my academic future, as in grades, test etc., building relationships that are good for me, and bettering myself. First, I want to start by getting out of my “it is what it is” phase because it is seriously not what I need. What I need is to focus and prioritize myself and my future. Setting goals for myself and creating a schedule for what I need to do, and when I need to do it. Essentially break out of old habits I created myself in 7th grade. When it comes to relationships, my goal is to make friends. To set and respect Boundaries. I would also like to get into reading a little bit more, because I do enjoy a good book now and then, I just hate the reading part. But mainly, I don’t want to give up (especially in math) because once I'm behind I tend to give up, but my goal is to NOT do that this year. I want to fix everything that was wrong with my life last year, because at the very least that is what I deserve, to succeed. Those are just my short-term goals though. As for long term goals, I just want to graduate like and honors person if that makes sense. What I mean is, I don’t just want to just graduate, I want one of those fancy titles that comes along with it. Because I know I can do it, what I don’t know is whether I want it bad enough to actually earn it. So, what I'm going to do for now is break out of old toxic, unproductive habits to prepare myself for senior year.