A letter from Jul 24, 2022

Dear me, At 25, your frontal lobe will have fully developed now! Happy birthday to you and happy 1st birthday to your new fully developed brain. Remember when that college Zoom speaker was saying 'children under 25' and you felt a bit offended? We were 22 and thought we were oh-so clever. Do you feel different now that you've gained this newfound power? Someone in the comments on this topic was saying how it felt that being younger than 25 felt like walking through the forest, quite lost and only knowing what's directly ahead- but after 25 it feels like you have a bird's eye view over the forest entirely. I wonder what you're making of it now. I'm sorry that you had to deal with all the people taking advantage of you when you were still a 'kid'. I really hope things have formed and evolved in ways that keep you excited and curious and engaged. These days, after having left the Sanctuary Cafe, ive been trying to focus on myself and have made decisions like taking a break from Seb, speaking to Jeff about intentions, starting yoga and meditation, strength exercises, writing, journalling, looking for different jobs and seeing how plausible it is to live abroad for a while. I want to broaden my horizons and live an enriched life. I wonder what your values are now. Health really is wealth. When Jeff casually strolled into the rolex shop and wanted to buy a watch, I felt so , uncomfortable by it and wondered if he really knew how much of a different league he was in- but then weeks later he said his dad had cancer - I felt this weird sense of peace in the fact that everyone has difficulties , just on different scales and types, whether we have enough money to buy a rolex or not. it's like the moral of the book 'the midnight library'. i think that describes 'happiness' very well. 25 is not a long way away- its like another Level 4 diploma. that went by fast- and according to D-Dias , time speeds up the more you live it. like that meme 'x movie but everytime x happens it speeds up'. maybe to slow it down, do new things and meditate and take notice of whats happening around you. my biggest worry at the moment is not seeing family because of The Change- i just dont know how theyll feel about it. im avoiding them until i physically cant anymore, so we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Now I'll be having my coffee, doing some yoga and wondering what to do on this fine 27'c Sunday. what will you do to celebrate your birthday? Are we still not having any sugar? or will you have at least a slice of fresh cream cake? How's your new name? I bet at least one of our brothers has a baby by now ? what happened with rubicon court? Hows anna, seb, neyaz, mariam, hasi? twins will be 15??? how crazy is that Whatever it is, whatever place you're in when you woke up this morning- i hope you're okay and thriving and grabbing the world with bare hands .