A letter from a 15 yr old

Dear FutureMe, I’m bad at writing letters and putting my emotions into words but I’ll try my best on this one. First of all, Happy Birthday! You’re 20 now. How are you? Are you still alive? Are you happy? I really hope you are because this 15 yr old you is currently struggling. Struggling to keep up with the world. I feel like I wasted most of my time enjoying life. I didn’t give a single fck about anything until 9th grade, and I deeply regret it. Because of my carelessness, I still don’t know what my purpose is, and I freaking lack general knowledge. Heck I can’t even point 3 countries on a map. This bro’s good at Math though😛. I guess the only positive thing about this “carelessness” is that I gained knowledge about social issues (Thank you, TikTok). Okay, I gotta move on. This is why I hate writing stuff. I always wander around😭. Not only do I struggle keeping up with the world, but I also struggle balancing my time. I got attached to so many “therapeutic” activities to the point that I always break down whenever I run out of time for one. Drawing, reading, studying, playing, watching, dancing, singing, and working out. All are activities I discovered and got attached to. I love all of them equally but they overwhelm me so much. I mean it’s good that I was able to discover new things despite being mentally unstable, but I just hate that I struggle deciding what to prioritize more. I really hope that you, FutureMe, was able to sort things out. Okay, enough about me. Let’s talk about you. Again, how are you? Are you happy or are you still struggling? How’s school? Were you able to keep your high honor streak? Whatever your answer is, I really hope you didn’t pressure yourself too much because I’m proud of you either way. Were you able to land an international scholarship, meet your hot boyfriend, and meet Taylor Swift? You better did because if not, I’m gonna fcking haunt you for eternity😭 just playing. Your family? How are they? Did you tell them you’re ***? Are they proud of you and your achievements? If not, throw them away HAHAHA jk. Okay, I think it’s time to end this letter. It’s 11 PM and I haven’t showered yet. FutureMe, wherever you are now (whether you’re happy or not, successful or not), just note that I am so fcking proud of you. Staying alive is enough to make this 15 yr old *** a$$ happy. Our future is uncertain so I don’t know what will happen. I’ll just keep getting stronger so it won’t be hard for you. I love you so much - 15 yr old JP