A letter from Jun 15, 2022

Dear FutureMe, hey so I don’t exactly know if you’re still alive or how you’re doing but I really hope all is well. (I know that sounds typical like common, “I hope all is well”?! whatever, it’s sticking alright?) I feel like overall i’ve been struggling for a while with my mental health and I couldn’t even give you a clear cut answer as to why but I hope we figure that out maybe by then. to be fair, we’re also really bad at getting things done and I doubt you do have many answers or learned too much. or got much mental health care for that matter, though a part of me hopes you have, it’s interesting and I feel like I need to uncover myself y’a know? I guess I just kinda hope we’re smarter, academically or not, I honestly think we have potential (sorry if that’s touchy I know we’ve failed a lot) :/ I mean think of all the people who have called you smart, I mean it’s not an insane amount but still. and don’t get me started on Mr. Vanhammen, I hope you reached out to him or got another class with him. I just wonder if things are worse… maybe you’re wondering that too like “how was 15 years and 11 1/2 months me feeling?”. knowing you you’re probably emotional or excited reading this and remembering stuff you wrote as you read. also, oh my god are you like NINETEEN NOW?! jesus dude, can’t imagine. oh yeah, by the way, I found this off a youtube short about a reddit post of useful websites. so now i’m here, woohoo. honestly, I don’t exactly know what to say, it’s actually 12:34AM while I type this (I swear I just looked at the time literally just while typing that, it’s true, I get really weird luck with time, all the time). hey so we’re probably out of high school right?oh god that sounds unfathomable honestly I hate that. are we still alone and reserved around friends and stuff? god, I can’t handle change in our demeanour so I hope so. also dating huh? how’s that like? have we finally figured out our *********? hopefully.. it sucks not being certain ever. y'know, I think this year I finally first gained a long for a relationship and romantic interest (finally, i’m a late bloomer on that apparently) so I kinda hope we have somebody maybe. oh yeah and did we ever get another pet? i’ve been wanting a crested gecko as you know but honestly i’m not sure, and of course we still have Jax… unless that’s a touchy subject sorry, did he die yet? anyways, it’s okay I hope y'know I hope you kept me and your even younger self in your heart. I know I do, or try to. also, I don’t know if this is touchy either but I just hope we’re not a bad person. ha my mind immediately went to ****** so I guess I kinda hope you haven’t ******** somebody. but really, I hope you treat others right as you’ve always tried to have. I feel so alienated because I feel like I can’t socialize and people might even resent me, at least online I guess, it just really honestly sucks, so that’s kinda why I hope you say you aren’t bad. I guess i’m used to being a good person that when people start to say you’re bad it feels like your world is crumbling. I don’t know. you’re okay or pretty cool though. I guess I wonder if we hate ourselves less, our relationship with hating ourselves is super weird. anyways, the longer and the more things I say is probably the better but honestly I don’t know what else to say. I don’t do anything ever, I feel lonely deep down so nothing to talk about y’know? of course you know. I love you, me. dont be so hard on yourself because I know it’s really, really hard. - From: Sophia …