A letter from Jun 10, 2022

Dear Sweet *******, How are you? I hope you are well. Have we kissed a boy yet? Lol, it’s ok if we haven’t. Are we still aroace, or aroallo? (We’re probably aromantic, right?) have we worked on any books, or published anything, did we ever start graveyard shift? When was the last time you thought about the Peony House and House of Fawn, and did we come up with a good story? Have you visited camp friends yet? Are Charlotte, Brooks and I still friends? How many friends do we have? Sorry if this is a lot. But I have so many questions for five years in the future. I’m 14, by the way, because I know you’re bad at math, and I’m lying in my ****** bed in the RV in Reno ready to go to camp in-wow, two days. What’s the Covid situation? Still a pandemic? How’s the rest of natural disasters and politics? Ooh, here’s a good one-who’s the President? God I hope they’re good. What’s up with climate change? Terrible as ever? Do we have enough money to do something about it? Was there a shooting at my school? Am I still alive, even, and are my friends? Are there *** laws? How many shootings have happened since now (right after Uvalde)? God, writing this makes me realize how ****** the world is. Here’s some lighter questions (hopefully) Are Shart and I working together on any projects? Am I in art school, or have I found one? Did I ever get a job, and where? How is our art skill? Here’s an exciting one-do we have a Wacom tablet yet with a glove???? Or a Nintendo switch?? Now for more personal questions (oh boy). Did the next therapist work out? Is our social anxiety still debilitating? Can we eat in the cafeteria yet? Do you genuinely know you’re attractive? Have we had any other depressive episodes that got out of hand (like second quarter of 7th grade)? Are we still scared of eating with our hands in Indian restaurants? How’s the autism (fantastic, definitely probably) Are we okay yet (I hope you know what I mean) Have we self-harmed? Has anybody ****** themselves? Do we still think about Sam’s episode? Are Violet and I better friends now? How’re the mommy issues? What’s Edmund up to? Any big projects? Is he actually bi or is my gaydar just broken? Okay look this is going to get. Cringy, I guess. But. Did we ever *tell* Mason why we were rude to him? Does he suck even more or has he gotten his anger issues under control? Have you even thought about him in five years? Also, did he really have a crush on us or is my attracto-meter also broken? Did we change to French, are we still talking to Ishaan, did we do the class trip to France? Are we going to be a camp counselor? How many years did the fortress stand? Did we ever snap and blow up at someone? Is Bergen okay or is there genuinely something wrong with him because he’s flopping around and making gross wet noises in the dark right now and I honestly genuinely believe there’s something bad with him. You know, writing this makes me really sad. Because I have to really think about where I’ll be in the future, and about how none of it is certain. I really don’t know if I’ll be okay in five years. Or alive. I don’t know if I’ll still be friends with shart and brooks. I don’t even know how this year will end. It’ll end halfway through my freshman year, after Socratic seminars and assigned reading, after many days at art club with shart. **** me, Bergen’s breathing is so gross to hear coming from the dark accompanied by Sloppy Dog Cleaning Sounds™️. I’ll try to block him out. Are we out of the house yet? What’s our writing style like? Still just as blunt and descriptive as ever or have we fallen prey to the sterile poeticism of Dark Academia’s romantic waxes and wanes? Do we know ASL yet? Do we love Reno just as much as always? Do we still drive up to camp in google street view just to look at it? I have to be honest I don’t fully know how to get serious while writing this. There’s a quote at the top of this website about how Margaret laughs and weeps writing her emails because they’re so deep and reflective. Admittedly, I have trouble getting to that point of vulnerability. So instead, here’s a list of my current favorite phrases and memes for you to melt with embarrassment and nostalgia over. You’re welcome. 1. Among us sussy balls 2. Slay 3. Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss 4. Boots the house down Charlie XCX slay queen. 5. Roblox dancing irl??? (What?) 6. FARTING ON MY NEIGHBOR’S DOOR 7. Alpha male 🔥💪🐺 8. What the hap is ********* 9. Love this animals [shimp] 10. Lowkey 11. Rad 12. Metal as **** 13. That’s so hard (the much less successful and more inherently erotic cousin of that goes so hard) 14. Bro that’s **** as **** 15. That’s crazy as balls dude 17. **** *** ******* Okay look, I’m really tired and I made the mistake of writing this at 2:26 am, lol. Anyway, hope you’re doing much better than I am right now. Wish me good days and good luck in high school. Love you very much my sweet schmoopsy woodle poo, — EEBY HEEBY JEEBS 🫵👹🤠🫠