A letter from Jun 10, 2022

Dear FutureMe, I hope you're still alive to see this, I know you've tried to keep **** together but I truly do hope you got out of there. I hope you're who you want to be now, and I hope you have other plans for your life now. Please, take this as a reminder that you're okay. I don't know what's going on for you right now, but whoever you are, future me, I hope you don't forget what you were put through, but instead held it close to your heart as a sign you were able to love more than you ever had before. I hope you still remember Cadence, she passed away at 13 early this year, she died by suicide. We used to go to guides together, she used to call you pineapple, her teeth were crooked, but her smile was brighter than I've seen anyone else smile. She was very pretty, she had brown, shoulder-length hair, she loved her friends, and she tried to help you when you were down, though you didn't acknowledge it. You couldn't have done anything to stop her, please don't blame yourself anymore. And to Cadence's parents, though they won't see this. I hope you're alright. I'm sorry your little sunshine has set, I'm sorry I didn't give you my note. And I'm sorry I didn't ask her if she was alright. I knew **** was tough back then, heck. I currently just found a suicide note from when I was 12. But, anyway. I do hope you're still alive, Finn. You'd be 18 when you receive this. I'm so scared sometimes that you will die before then, whether you give in, or your father ***** you, or something happens by accident If you do happen to pass before you read this, though; here's a message for whoever will read it. I was not confused, it wasn't a phase. My name is Finn, I am trying my best to be myself, the words you said to me, the way you described me, will always stick to me. In the end they likely brought me to my early grave if you're reading this And to Millyhon Stoney, who most don't know. I don't think she will ever see this, but I just wanted to say it for my own sake. I do hope you're okay now. I'm sorry I couldn't love you differently, I'm sorry I was flawed. You made everything look so easy, and I always found a way to make things difficult. We were opposites, we lived in different places, different situations, but I know I still love you the same. Thank you for being there for me, currently for 4 years. Though we don't talk anymore, I do hope we reconnect in the future so no one has to read this last bit. If I died, I'd like you to think I went to your heaven. As an atheist, I don't understand heaven and all, it doesn't make sense to me, but I know you care for it, and you made me want to be worthy of going there, because you wanted it. I don't know what comes next, but I hope to be by your side, wherever we end up. We met at the wrong time, but I know we'll meet again. Either in this life or the next, I don't mind. Rest easy for me, please don't over think this last message. It is 12:42am and I'm having doubts again, I just wanted you to know that you're still always going to be important to me. We were never just internet ****. Rainii, I care for you a lot. You have always seemed very wise to me, I don't always agree with you, but you've always been patient with me, you didn't force anything on me, and you helped me through a lot. I hope one day I will get to visit you, and maybe see Koda before I pass. And finally, Aesther. I have more people to write about, but I chose these 3 because I don't think I'll need this. Aesther, you've always seemed like a little sibling to me. I hope you do know I still care for you, I'm sorry I got mad, I know you're not great at speaking your mind. It hurt me heavily, hearing you'd gone away without saying a word, but in the end I understand. I do hope you know I didn't try to hurt you, if you're ever hungry please, just ask. I don't want you hurt, but you seem to be alright. I hope things go well for you and Millie and Angel, though I don't agree with Angels actions. I do know you guys love her, and that's alright by me. Just please, be happy. -Finn, friday June 10th, 14 years old