A letter from Jun 05, 2022

Dear Future Me, I know you probably won't remember but on this day, exactly 4 years ago, you were laying in your bed crying after watching the first three episodes of "The Time Traveler's Wife" on HBO. Yes, I can realize that it is a TV show and it really isn't that deep but, nevertheless, it got me thinking about the future. You remember, you wrote yourself letters all the time when you were little and now, just freshly 21, I want to start again. So, hi. How the hell are ya??? God, 25 feels so old to me right now and the scary part is is that is so much closer than I think it is. There is so much I want to know about what life will be like. There's equally even more things that terrify me about everything my future holds. Before we get into all of that though, let me give you a rundown of what life is like as of June 5th, 2022. It's the summer before senior year of college (I can feel myself cringing right now 4 years in the future ,I know it, but right now being a senior feels insane). I'm trying to juggle my internship at PWP, a stupid summer class, and studying for the GRE... GOD I hope taking those were worth it. Overall though, I am pretty happy. I'm learning guitar and seeing my friends and waiting to see where the rest of my life will take me. Now that we're all caught up, I've got some questions for you. How is life as a real adult? More importantly, where do we live???? That is the worst part of the whole grad school thing, I just have no idea where I'll end up or if I'll even get in. All I hope is that wherever we ended up, I'm happy. I hope that I got into grad school but I know that things can change and everything happens for a reason. I also know better than anyone that one day can change the entire course of your life, so there's that too. Basically, as long as I am happy with my life, I like where I live, I am surrounded by good people doing what I love, that's all I can ask for. For the love of God, you better have gotten your **** together in your love life. I have been asking my future self the same questions since I was 8: "Do you have a boyfriend?" Listen, I don't even care if you have a boyfriend anymore, all I care about is that at some point within the next four years there will be a boy that comes around who gives you just as much love as you give to everyone else. I mean, I think we deserve at least that. I just know that even if it hasn't happened by now, it will. When the day comes, I feel like I'd know. I hope so badly that you still talk to your friends from Siena. I can't imagine my life without them so you better have figured it out. Actually, before you read any more of this, go and text them right now and say hi from your past self, tell them how much I love them. Did it? Ok perfect, carry on. I know you're probably gonna **** me for this one but... do you still talk to Michael? I know, I know, shocker question right there. You know how much I love that boy, we can't help it. I just hope that no matter what you guys still talk, I need him in my life far too much for you to have stopped. I know there is more that I'll want to say so maybe I'll send more of these to different versions of myself. One last thing, a piece of advice from your younger self that I want you to think about. Let go of the control you think you need. I wish someone could tell me that right now, but I'm telling you now. It's scary when we don't have a plan, I mean trust me, I have no idea what is in store for me. I just think that we benefit from having a little less knowledge about what will happen next, it's gotta be part of the excitement right? So I'll leave you with this: I love you. I'm sure wherever you are and whoever you've become, you are beautiful and amazing. I can't wait to meet you or... become you I guess. Until then, You :)